Get OUT of my happy meal Michelle!

The latest victim of the Obama's " we know better than you" regime is the McDonalds happy meal.

Being late at night after an outing and too low on energy to whip up a culinary masterpiece I drove my kids through McDonalds on our way home. I ordered their usual - one cheeseburger happy meal and one nugget happy meal.

Layla (1) was wailing so I asked Laci to share her fries til I ran through Arby's to get my food to share with Layla.

"I would if I had fries mom. All I have is apple slices and some toy box of fries"

"what" I yell , irritated that once again our order was messed up at this particular location.

Laci didn't mind as she likes the creepy non browning apples anyway.( Ella however screamed the whole way home and wouldn't even eat my yummy Arby's curly fries. )

I looked in her box to see the teeny tiny "toy" box of fries holding about seven sad little spears of fried potato.

And the actual toy.

I realized immediately that we'd been had. McDonalds has bowed to the shouts of Michelle that our kids are obese and instead of giving us the choice of apples and fries they've scaled the fries back to a gnome portion and thrown Ina couple of slices of apple to compensate.

This irritates me on a number of levels.

1 it's McDonalds. Expecting it to be healthy is like expecting Snooki and the jersey shore cast to come up clean on any type of blood or urine test you administer them.

2 I can fully decide if my kid should have apples or fries. I don't Michelle or Ronald McDonald choosing for me thanks.

3 those apples are weird. They don't ever brown. What chemicals are on this mutant fruit? At least I know the effects of a dreaded fry.

4 previously we could decide fries or apples. Now you get both
and the apple portion is smaller than it used to be. To get a full meal the kids have to eat the gnome portion of fries. How is that healthier?

So yet another fail on the part of government stepping on toes through pointless campaigns for the greater good.

I'd say boycott McDonalds happy meals .... But that's just what they want you to do isn't it ;)



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Happy Birthday to my beautiful baby Layla Grace.

The day after Ella turned two I took a pregnancy test- it was positive. Shocker.

Nine months later a beautiful red headed baby entered our lives just as the sun was rising.

I knew she was going to be a spirited baby to put it mildly. Anytime the nurses moved her arms she screamed in protest only to quickly calm immediately when they let go. This girl knew what she wanted.

I remember her sisters coming with my best friend and her husband and kids to visit their new baby for the first time.

Throughout my pregnancy Ella had a hard time dealing with feeling replaced. She insisted I call her "baby" not girl of any form. Shed even shout during lullabies if I sang little girl so all lyrics had to be changed to baby. She would snuggle up against my big round belly and say "I'm your baby, mama"

And she was. And she is.

The first thing she said to me after looking at the face of her new baby sister was

" Mama I want to be a big girl now. I need to be her big sister."

That is one of my favorite memories.

And what wonderful big sisters shes had.

Over the past year its been a joy - often bittersweet as i hate to see each phase fade away- watching Layla develop.

She has maintained that take no prisoners attitude and shown a perseverance Ive never before seen in any person. One day this will suit her well in her endeavours but in the meantime I have been run ragged meeting the demands of this beautiful tyrant. She will not stop crying or yelling til you give her what she wants and immediately her cries cease.

One day at about six months I decided some tough love. I was finishing up a sewing project for Laci and decided that when Layla started crying in her jumperoo she would just have to wait.I was nearby talking soothingly to her the whole time not ten feet away in the same room and fully visible. I wanted her to learn she didn't have to be on my person to be with me.

A forty five minute stand off ensued.

She cried. She wailed. she screamed til she was hoarse.

I wanted to pick her up but felt this progress and tears would be wasted so as I heard winding down (likely from exhaustion and sore throat not lack of will) I went to her and said her name.

She turned her head-away from me.

I said her name again.

She stared blankly ahead vacantly.

I picked her up and tried to cuddle her.

She didn't respond.

She had gone pretty much into a disassociative state at the drop of a hat.

She was punishing me.

It was then I realized what a personality I had on my hands. She surely had more force of will than I had. I was in for it.

It persists still and while the above story sounds like she is a "brat" or hard to deal with she isnt. She needs ALOT , but she gives a lot.

She has the brightest smile and heartiest laugh. She kisses with gusto. Her personality is huge and she already plays tricks on us and jokes around.

She brings so much joy to our lives on a daily basis. Though she is demanding and rotten as they come, her personality filled adventurous spirit and the ensuing adventures are making so many memories for us. Much more so than of she were the average Laid back child. (at least this is what I tell myself while picking up scraps of shredded toilet paper or retrieving her from whatever obscure place she has squeezed herself into)

As I've watched her grow over the last year and traits develop the sweetest to develop is the sisterly bond my three girls share.

Laci and Ella were very close. And now Layla completes it. They share a love I don't see in many siblings. Her first words every morning are "ella ella" calling for her big sister. The big sister who didn't want to be a big girl but one look at this baby and she knew she must take her place. I think somehow something happened in that moment that bonded them together because the love they share is deep and beautiful.

Layla you have been such a joy to your family. I love cuddling with you all day and if that is what you need, I will happily oblige. The house can be cleaned another time, messes will always return but these precious moments with you as a baby are far too fleeting and far too few. You are beautiful like your sisters and your personality complements theirs. With two kids we thought we were finished but you came along and proved how wrong we were. You were the missing beautiful piece that tied it all together and made the family complete. You have captured all our hearts. We love you baby girl. Happy first Birthday!

For the coming year may I ask one thing? Please stop growing so fast. I know you want to be like your sisters but I need you to be a baby for just a bit longer....

Eight years too quickly

Eight years ago a bright red headed baby girl captured the attention of the maternity floor of the hospital she was born in and the hearts of her mommy and daddy.

She turned eight years old this week and I'm in utter disbelief! Not only can I not be old enough to be the mother of an eight year old but my baby can't possibly
be eight already.


She's grown from a cute pudgy red headed baby who garnered the attention of people everywhere we went to a beautiful red haired freckle faced little girl who still gets the attention of strangers most places we go. Not only does her hair shine but so does her personality. She is kind and loving - the best big sister that Layla and Ella could ask for. She is an creative little girl who loves dance and art and is quite good at both. She's witty and clever surprising people with words beyond her eight years.

Over these eight years she's made me laugh with her crazy costumes and performances. She's made me proud in her endeavors. She's made me crazy with her fierce independence streak. But most of all she made me a mommy and will always hold a special place among kids for that reason.

Happy Birthday Laci Bug!




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Here's what Wednesday 4

I am loaded with enough fuel and fire for a flaming here's what due to this weeks events but being that it's my anniversary, I'm going a new route.

Here's What:

I'm amazingly blessed with a wonderful husband. I could not have asked for a better man to share my life with or be the father to my kids.

Tony is so selfless. He works 70+ hours at csx- an employer that pretty much treats employees as property - so that I can stay at home and raise our kids instead of a daycare. Because he works so many hours and at crazy times at a job where you're not allowed to call off more than once eery two months, he misses out on a lot with these kids- and this is a daddy who cherishes time with his princesses. I can't express how much I appreciate this sacrifice. I could go on for pages but i had a moment last night when I stopped and just had a moment.

You've had them. That instant where something seemingly insignificant in it's own right becomes momentous because for whatever reason it puts in
Focus something of great import.

For me it was how Tony reacted to my awful beach trip with the kids and the events that precipitated an early departure just a day after arriving.

To go On this impromptu trip with a friend and two women I did not know ( the latter being the issue leading to our leaving) he had to change his vacation week because I wouldn't leave if he was going to be at home "on vacation" while we were gone. He also gave up what plans he had for us because we already have a vacation in the works for later In the summer.

- He puts us first- far beyond himself.

I truly value his hard work. He goes on little sleep at random hours to work twelve hours to Many times get only ten hours off. He only is guaranteed one off day a week. Because he works so hard , I hate wasting his money. He's not greedy or miserly but I know the sweat and sacrifice that go into each dollar and I was so mad that so much was wasted on a trip we didn't get to finish that it tore me up to leave.

- He is an excellent selfless provider , doing what he must not to just provide our needs but to give us what we want.

I had been really upset all evening , well actually since we arrived due to what I can only describe as a reality show brawl atmosphere . He gave ul his few hours of sleep to call and talk and check on me, trying to calm and comfort me.

- Hes my security blanket


While i was upset at the wasted cost he however only thought of me and the kids and our well being. He didn't see his money wasted because his kids got a few hours of beach time ( I however am still boiling over the waste because I know how hard earned it was) and to him even though it was just a few moments of fun - it was worth the expense for his girls.

- He is an amazing father who puts his girls and their happiness first in his priorities and a smile on their faces is worth any cost.

He then immediately went into fixing mode and said he'd switch in September to a job he doesn't like for a couple weeks in order to get a few days off in a row so he could take the kids to the beach and make up for what was taken from them yesterday.

- He is our band - aid. Always trying to fix what went wrong whether it is his fault or not.

I was talking to him as I was leaving. I was fearful because I have panic attacks on the bay bridge, I hate traffic and driving in unfamiliar areas. He was trying to assure me I'd be fine that I don't I've myself enough credit. I needed to hear his voice, just talking to him helped me steel myself to drive at midnight with three kids.

- Hes my encourager. He builds me up when all around destroyers try to tear down.

I know these things about him at any given moment. They are his core, they make up his very being. These are the things that drew me to him, that made me love him.

In that moment standing in a gas station parking lot Talking to him as I got ready to leave it hit me squarely. In a moment where I was crying , feeling tense, stressed , angry and more - a cacophony of all negative emotions- I smiled and felt warm and comforted. I'd remembered all the things I know deep inside about this wonderful man I call husband.



"My creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist."
- John Keats















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Uh oh Oreo

I've spent the day packing for this beach trip tomorrow that we are undertaking. Or I am at least. Tony isn't going, I'm taking three kids 7,3, and 10 months with a friend and two of her friends.

I'm not sure what madness took me over to think this was doable. I've waffled since making the decision between "yay beach" and "omg this is going to kill me".

The eve of the venture has arrived and as of 10:30 pm , my packing remains unfinished. In my frenzy of getting everything together on my own Ella asked for a snack. She wanted our beach snacks and I directed her instead to a box of Oreos from SAMs club . They are in individual sleeves.

While The baby is content, resting for a moment , I decide to take a shower to wake myself up to finish the task at hand.

In comes Ella chocolate all over needing to wash her hands . she is slightly bent over with the look of guilt shadowing her countenance.

"you ate that whole sleeve, didn't you?" I say knowingly

"yeeeees "she draws out in a whine.

"how's your tummy feeling now" I inquire.

"full . Very full"

"oh yeah."
"and sick. I think I'm going to be sick"

"I imagine you will"

Ten minutes later and a handful of throwup her suspicions are confirmed.

As are mine- this trip may kill me.





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Here's What Wednesday

Like many, I've been following the Casey Anthony trial. Unlike some I've watched since Nancy grace first bellowed "BOMBSHELL" in July 2008. I've had many opinions on the case as evidence poured in over three long years, none of which included even a brief moment of "she didn't do it".

Now, after a long wait and a DVR full of InSession ,the end of the road comes- and justice is nowhere in sight.

There has been much outcry- obviously those crying out for Caylee , but also from those against the current jurisprudence system we incorporate and the jury itself. As we've all heard plenty of the first sentiment and likely all feel the same, I'll be tackling the latter two.

Here's What:

We need a professional jury system. I first heard the idea a few years ago and it resonated. America is not what she once was . We embrace mediocrity and many fall in line for the dumbing down of America.

I have no faith in a jury of my "peers" deciding my fate God forbid I'd be found on trial, rightly or wrongly, or in a case where I'd be represented by the prosecution.

If anyone struggled through jury selection on this trial you watched as those who had successful careers were dismissed for financial hardship. What were we left with ? Two teachers- one as a juror; one as an annoyingly outspoken alternate. (Russ huekeler)

The rest of the jury was comprised of a couple senior citizens (not agist but this will come into play in a moment) ; one of whom was a religious African American woman who misunderstands the Christian admonition of not judging and takes it to a ridiculous literal sense whereinsomuch she can't judge a defendant. What?! ( honorable judge belvin perry did not allow prosecution to dismiss her)

We also had people with prior drug convictions, one with familydomestic violence convictions and two who never finished high school.

Granted acquitted child murderer Casey Anthony failed to finish high school making them peers, but still...

Here's what:

We need a professional jury system. At least in felony cases where the evidence is now profoundly beyond the average persons understanding.

Yes the experts get up and try to put it in laymans terms, but have we looked into just how much your average jury can appreciate the gravity of such evidence?

Where confusion lies therein reasonable doubt breeds.

Our jurisprudence system was formed long ago before we even had electricity. Cases were circumstantial unless you had an eye witness.

Even take out the scientific and technological evidence of this case and what was left would have been a slam dunk for the prosecution- even within the last few decades.

Thanks to csi and NCIS- coupled with a woeful lack of understanding of civics - common jurors of today expect DNA at every crime scene and if not you haven't proven your case.

I went into the trial thinking the case was largely circumstantial, I left it surprised at the overwhelming scientific evidence brought to the table. However since no DNA was found on a piece of tape that had rotted for seven months in a hurricane flooded swamp- this jury felt the case was not proven.

I contend states cases of forensics cannot fully be appreciated by a common juror. In this case a murderer is walking, in other cases I feel you run the risk of the opposite; jurors can be awed by what they see as overwhelming evidence simply by misunderstanding and giving too much weight things that may prove nothing - and an innocent man loses his freedom.

Either way it's a risk too great to ignore and something needs done.

Go ask your grandma what googling is. She will smack you in the face. Now put that same grandma who thinks googling should be done behind closed doors and never spoken of in polite society in a jury box and tell me she can adequately wade through computer evidence.

Take your average juror and ask them to explain the process of decomposition and how a blow fly can prove a dead body is in the location.

I don't think we are doing defendants or victims any favors by placing such a heavy burden as deciding justice in the hands of Joe schmo. At least not in science laden cases.

My aim in pointing out prior arrests in other jurors on the case is this: it's well known many, not all , former "cons" have serious issues with law enforcement and prosecution. It's not a far leap to understand why. That being said, how can you have a fair jury when some may be biased against an entire branch of the system?

Yes lawyers can strike jurors however the number is limited and the judge can overrule as was done in this case.

As far as this jury goes , I feel they were all that is wrong that I listed above. In addition they were lazy - seen to be not taking notes especially during the prosecution case and deliberating less than 11 hours on a two month case. These jurors did nit even ask to see one not ONE piece of evidence out of the hundreds of pieces entered in by both sides. I'm assuming that includes transcripts of testimony.

I will not be convinced they did their due diligence in that amount of time.

This was a jury sequestered too long ( google effects of sequestration on trial) . They wanted to get home and noone had a fight left in them. It's summer afterall.

This was a jury who did not even understand the states burden. I keep hearing " the state didn't prove motive" the state does NOT have the burden of climbing in a defendants mind and profit motive. They also thought "reasonable doubt" meant any doubt at all and did not realize common sense was to be used in their determination of doubt.

This was a jury overwhelmed by confusion from forensics to defense.

This was a case that was not done justice by unqualified jurors.

I

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Eta: Many will argue the chance of paying off pro juries however the same can be done with lay juries. Manu speculate in high profile cases such as the anthony case jurors know they will garner more interest with a controversial or shocking Verdict.

To that end juror number three jus had an all expense paid Disney trip for her ENTIRE family, sisters nieces nephews etc.

Other jurors have agents and are brokering five figure interview deals...

All on The back of a dead baby girl.

Here's What Wednesday

Im starting a new wednesday feature called - Here's What Wednesdays.

Ive adopted the "Heres What" phrase from my watching of...trash on Bravo. More accurately the Watch What Happens Live that follows said trash of a Housewife nature. The host Andy Cohen has a H'ere's What segment. It has become part of my vernacular and because I like it I'm doing a segment. Becausd I like aliteration - its on Wednesday (what, wednesday...)

Normally when I say "here's what " in conversation you can expected a pointed statement loaded with opinion, covered in a hearty sauce of attitude. Other times I use it while giving advice to break down what the person I am talking to views a difficult situation to the bare bones simple answer they've been avoiding. Tonights edition really doesn't hold true to my typical uses.

Here's What

I feel like we have lost charm in this computer age. Charm went out of our lives long ago. Look around. Everything is angular and hard. Every home is filled with multiple screens where paintings and pictures of special moments captured once hung. Instead of looking around we look at our portable computers in our hand. Most are more likely to a tree on their Ipod screen than on a walk.

Now don't get me wrong, im a techno geek. Im writing this on my beloved laptop and I'm going to upload a photo to go along with this in a bit on my cherished Iphone 4 which will probably give me some sort of hand cancer because it rarely leaves my palm. I most commonly use it doing the most natural of acts - nursing my child

I. am . not. a techno. hater.

However I can't help but look around and wonder what weve given up. Houses look pristine and well cookie cutter. Modern homes while very stylish and cool lack warmth.

We can't have arguments on topics or trivia contests because we all have a google machine in our hands ready with 4.6 million website hits on whether or not Goofy is a dog or some other animal.

I do see a cry for the simple, beatuiful charm that once surrounded us though. People are very into shabby chic and I myself just downloaded about 100 actions for photoshop to take my high tech digital pictures and alter them to make them look more "old" . Old photos which were taken with grainy film and poor exposure. We have perfect pictures with no skill but we crave that old charm of the odd off lighting and dark spot in the corner that we develop programs to make that happen. One of Itunes best selling apps is Hipstamatic which takes the amazing pictures an Iphone 4 shoots and makes them look like they were taken with a plastic film camera from 5 decades ago. Its also my favorite Itunes purchase to date and I have every expansion pack....

I think what made me ponder all this was my porch and the posts. We remodeled a farmhouse that was Tony's grandmothers birthplace and moved into it last August. We gutted the thing and redid everything in and out. We kept some things authentic like the wood floors and these really cool vents in the floor which can be seen below. At first I hated them because they weren't pristine but we buffed them and they are such a cool authentic piece to the house. They have...charm.

The parts of the house that were a new addition all have nice modern porcelain tile and awesome kitchen that I'm in love with , but what didn't get redone was the porch. I moved in hating it and hating these posts but as i sit and look at them and wonder how nice the porch would look with columns I take pause. Yes new fixtures would give it a more sleek look but at what cost. I don't know... I think I like the old marred wood, it tells a story.

Here's what Wednesday 1

I'm starting my own weekly blog feature entitled Here's What Wednesday.
Many bloggers do weekly features such as Not Me Monday, Tell all Tuesday etc. I just wanted something of my own and i enjoyed doing a weekly feature like my project life mondays i did last year ( not currently an option due to wifi dead zone farm living) so this will be my first installment.

Usually when I say "here's what..." I'm either really irritated and have a very opinionated statement about to flow forth or I'm trying to explain a situation for a person - bluntly- usually when they've come for advice. These posts may take either route.

Todays intended post was derailed by a speeding train of mommy frustration .

Here's what:

Kids most certainly have imbedded deep within them one of those light up vibrating notifiers you get while waiting for a table at a chain restaurant such as olive garden. Instead of notifying them that they are about to be ushered to a table of warm breadsticks and salad it notifies instead that a younger sibling has either just fallen asleep or has just shut their eyes much to mommys relief.

I will promise you in and give an oath in court if needed that this baby has not had one nap interrupted in her life on a day one or both older sisters have been home.

It's exactly as I described above- the moment this baby shuts her eyes or body goes limp one or both older sisters appears in front of me needing something, screams , cries , poops in their pants, or as happened yesterday- gets her legs stuck in the stair banisters.

You will not persuade me some internal alarm is not in play. Even if they are outside playing on some acre of farmland, as they were today, completely oblivious to what I am trying to accomplish inside- they sense the fluttering of baby eyelids, the slowing of breathing and the relaxing of just flailing limbs.

I think like on the restaurant buzzer lights begin to flash and race around before their eyes alerting them and something vibrates in their brain possessing them to run towards whatever area I've Sought for quiet seclusion.

A baby is sleeping. Must find mommy- loudly.

And in they burst - in tears or talking as though I was some deaf person from the 1800s holding up that little ear horn to my ear saying"speak up sonny" . And inevitably the baby I fought for half an hour ( she sees sleep as a battle to the death only to be lost with valiant effort) opens her eyes. And the vicious cycle continues.




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7x7

Take a look to the right of this post. See that little icon with the adorable blonde girl knowing her head labeled 7x7? I've had it on my blog for over a year because it's something I've been meaning to institute into my life and like a well laid plans.... Well I haven't.

The icon is a link to a blog post by Angie Smith, wife of Todd Smith from Selah. She wanted reminders throughout the day to pray for her children. She picked out seven daily activities : waking up, getting dressed, going out, eating, getting ready for bed and sleeping. She found verses she wanted to instill in her children's lives to pray over them during these times.

I really have an issue with three kids and one who is permanently attached to my body like an extra appendage finding a quiet time to pray as much as I liked. I've realized this week that instead of having a perfectionist view of getting away by myself an hour every night I may have to adjust things some days and this is an excellent way to make sure I am praying over my kids and speaking into their lives daily. It also institute a prayer without ceasing type of attitude making you get in the practice of having a lifestyle of prayer throughout your day not just whenever you deem your "quiet time " .

I really encourage you to click that icon and check out her post. While you're there grab a box of tissues and read her story of grace and strength. She is a beautiful person whose words have touched me in so many ways.





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Out of the mouth of babes

I have three kids but you would never know it by my blog postings- they're all about ella. I guess it's because she is in that magical and silly stage which readily provides interesting moments continually throughout the day.



Today I had Put out a bunch of Easter foam stickers for Ella to make a picture. She put a few words on and asked me what they said. I said well that one says praise what does that mean?

"when we sing to God like this like at church " and she raised her hand.

She put a church on then and said "this is my church and I love it" I had to write HMC on it to make it her church.

Then she found a sticker of praying hands. She decided they were clapping instead. She said "our church likes to clap to praise God" so once she came to that conclusion I spent the next twenty minutes picking paper off of "clapping hands" because "we like to clap a lot at that church"

My point is our kids are watching us whether we know it or not. What are we teaching them in those moments when we aren't even aware they are learning from our actions? Are we instilling positive things in them?

I'm so thankful for hyndman ministry center. We have a church that is Teaching our kids to praise God with abandon. To worship him without worrying about what the person next to you thinks. There is freedom in that place and our kids are being brought up to feel free to worship God in whatever way they feel led to and you see when they come out with their parents, they join right in. I'm so glad my kids are learning church is a place of joy , that it's fun to be at church not an obligation and praising God doesn't mean you stand in a pew staring a head singing a songs fit for a funeral!

I'm not perfect my kids learn my negative actions too. Laci is so snarky and sarcastic frequently and one day Tony yelled at her for her mouth and I realized she probably doesn't realize she's even doing anything wrong because he and I can be sarcastic, both just in a teasing way but Also when we are irritated. We are both working on it because we realized just like Ella is learning by observing us at church Laci is picking up things we don't mean to teach.

Kids really are little sponges soaking up everything from the environment you put them in. From the music we listen to when they are around to the people you allow around them. Its writing on the slate of who they are and affecting how they view life. I'm so thankful to my church family for providing a place for my kids to grow in freedom and Joy- to learn positive things and how to praise God.



Here is the picture she made. I love it. I was asking her about it and she said that's our church. She said " the people are in there praising God and clapping and dancing. All these claps are coming out of the church from the people praising God."

She then said " all the people are still in there they're going to come out late because everyone wants to keep praising..... And because Pastor Stevie is still yelling"

Bwahaha Hmc people - I promise I don't complain about the length of services! I love when it runs over! She's just very observant :)

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Snow white probably had rabies

I've said before, we live on a farm and have some wooded areas around us. With wooded areas come woodland creatures. Ella saw a dead raccoon on the road and is now fascinated by them. We have to talk about them daily. And everytime she brings them up we remind her they may look cuddly but are mean and dangerous. I blame Disney. Not only do animals talk and interact with the people, on movies where they are just regular animals they come out of their woodland homes to crawl happily all over the princesses. My kid already thinks she's Snow White so I'm sure she thinks all the first creatures naturally love her and want her to sit on the ground and sing a happy tune to them.

As she talks about her fondness for the bandit of the forest I always envision buddy the elf upon entering NYC and encountering his first raccoon:

"hello little guy, want a hug?" - raccoon on face.

I even used that image to explain to Ella she needs to STAY AWAY!

Still, she will not be turned away from her deep affection for the rabid beasts. Even as i type this shes is asking about them!

Earlier today as we were going to church she spoke of loving raccoons. Tony took his turn at the raccoons are dangerous speech.

Tony-" ella if you ever see a raccoon outside stay away from it."

" Well dad they can't reach the doorknob . "

"Yes ella but if YOU are outside and you see a raccoon you stay away! "

" dad , do you know what raccoons do when they see a doorknob they can't reach? They stand. Do you know what zebras like to do? Open doors for raccoons. You know what that raccoon wants to do dad? See my play room"

We can't win. Even if she isn't outside she is going to let the thing in for a tea party and if she doesn't, a rogue zebra will.


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Shootin the poop

I should just dedicate this blog to Ella . It's quite obvious she is the most interesting cog in the wheel Carey and has been for sometime.

We have been potty training for
Well over a year. Nothing works. We have painstakingly analyzed every angle of the issue from fear to power struggle and have not found a solution. It was time to get creative.

Last Tuesday was a rough day so I decided to take a walk. As I was leaving I informed Ella that I was off to see the Poop Fairy. Her big blue eyes widened. I'm not sure what could have been going through her mind upon hearing of this new mythical creature.

I didn't expound just left her to wonder. Mostly because I hadn't worked out the con completely yet in my own mind.

After a time I deemed long enough to have believably traipsed through the woods to a magical fairy hut, I returned. I informed Ella I had just spoken to the poop fairy at her woodland workshop. She put her head down, I assume expecting some chastisement from what must certainly be a smelly wood nymph. I told her the poop fairy brings prizes like her sister the tooth fairy (her face brightened) but only when you poop in the potty. (exasperated groan) to drive the urgency home I informed her there was a limited number of spots on her list of clients and she had only one spot left. I worked out a deal that if Ella Pooped in the potty the next day she could have that most coveted spot on the poop list. Her face brightened.

The next day indeed she did what she fought so long not to do. I told her this one only got her a spot on the list and shed have to again tomorrow to receive a present. I also informed her if she didn't go in the potty she lost her spot and would have to work to get back on the list.

She woke the following morning and informed me she wanted to go visit the poop fairy. ( to negotiate the terms of her contract no doubt) I'm sure she saw the brief moment of panic on my face but I quickly regained composure and said "only grown ups get to go to her house. Kids aren't allowed to visit people like tooth fairies and Santa, it's a security risk." At this point I felt like the Grinch telling Cindy Lou who that her tree had a light that wouldnt light on one side. He was taking her tree to the north pole he'd fix it up there and he'd bring it back here.

Grinchy or not she understood but looked so sad so quickly I added - you can call her! But only if you use the potty all day!

After a long day of her by my side (if she goes off on her own she goes to the bathroom so she's on lockdown til she drops a number two now) finally at seven she shouted from the potty "I did it call that fairy!"

I had already asked my best friend in the whole world to be our poop fairy. I love her, she's the kind of person who is honored to take on such a job.

Soon Ella got a call from what sounded like mrs doubtfire crossed with the wolf pretending to be red riding hoods grandmother . Her face lit up. Mine went dark as I heard aunt Jennie going totally off script. " I'm in my wood shed dearie just whittling up some wooden toys to give out to all the good boys and girls who poop in the potty"

Really? WOODEN toys. When the poop fairy was done with her spiel I ran upstairs behind closed doors and yelled "I didn't buy wood you nut bag what were you thinking?"

" I don't know I got nervous. It sounded good just give her a yoyo or something."

" yeah I'll whip up a wooden yoyo at 9 pm"

I didn't. She got a remarkably plastic looking "wooden" barbie and ken "she said yes "set. (did you know they were back together?) http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0044N2EJO/ref=mp_s_a_3?qid=1301506836&sr=8-3

She's done really well. Not perfect but she's getting there and it's no longer a battle. She is just someone who needs a little magic in her life.
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So long Sucky

I didn't intend to write again so soon but we had a milestone day of sadness in the Carey household.

Today Ella saw Tony picking up a couple pieces of trash because he didn't put the bag in the container and the barn cats tore the bag. Amongst the yuck was a bright pink piece of plastic- Ella's paci. I was in the kitchen when I heard a wail and a scream of " MY PACI MY PACI NOOO!"

She had found out the awful fate of her missing pacifiers. Now she hadn't been using them for quite some time, nor had she asked for one. If she happened to find one that hadn't been scooped up and hidden on a counter out of her sight I would turn a blind eye and let her have it for the night. However she had grown out of her need for them and as long as she didn't see them she didn't ask.

Sadly she saw this one. Apparently Tony decided to throw them away, unbeknownst to us all. The mournful wails coming out of my little girl were heart breaking. Tony deemed her ridiculous and went upstairs. How be could ignore this crumpled heap of Sadness in the hallway is beyond me.

I picked up the shattered sobbing paci-less Ella and held her close. Through heaved breaths she said "sucky I miss you. I miss you sucky".

Up until now I didn't realize she had named any of her pacis. Poor thing really did lose something important today. I tried to console her and find a nighttime comfort replacement and introduced her to the satin side of baby blankets. This is an acceptable yet lacking substitute for sucky in her eyes but it sufficed.

She cried for the better part of two hours off and on as thought shed get lost in the day and suddenly remember her loss much like real grief. It was intense. At one point she even went over to the window facing the porch where she saw the unthinkable put a hand to the window and sobbed " I love you sucky i miss you i miss you sucky. I love you . Good bye"

So sad :( it was sad for me too because it was another part of her babyhood being taken away.



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Ella Bella bunny slayer

I'm going to start writing a few time a week about each of my kids. Mostly as a journal for myself because my memory is awful. I have actual paper and pen journals but I never seem to get around to writing. I feel I have a Better shot of preserving memories this way.

I'll start out with Ella since she is probably the most interesting and difficult!

She has been so funny this week. Just a couple days ago my mother in law gave her a big chocolate bunny. Apparently she took him to bed with her and I heard rustling at three a.m. (I was up still unfortunately) I walk in and see Ella sitting up in bed with this



Looking like this




I never know what to expect with this kid. She makes me reevaluate my approach to parenting and life for that matter. She has taught me that sometimes you jus have to laugh in spite of your surroundings. I have to because I'm always finding piles of spices laying about or makeup painted on our walls- any combination of mess. I could get angry but instead I laugh and grab my camera. She taught me that. And she's made me a better person because of it.

Hippy to hipster?

My previous post found me questioning how far to the hippy side of life my new awareness of toxins and the benefit of natural living had brought me. Today I pondered a new question:

Am I a bit hipster?

I sat down to eat my lunch with my husband and my oldest and youngest beastlings. As I waited for him to bring me my drink I surveiled the scene.

Here I sat in chipotle eating my free range chicken burrito as my oldest daughter drank organic chocolate milk wearing an amber necklace and ironic t shirt.


Nearby sat my youngest playing with the uber chic Sophie le giraffe wearing an owl hat.



Who am I?

http://www.sophiegiraffeusa.com/


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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cute and crunchy or dirty hippy?

I just took stock of my recent life choices.

I'm a stay at home, home schooler who doesn't vaccinate , breast feeds, cloth diapers, baby wearer, natural child birth labored in a birthing tub, makes home made organic baby food, new mega juicing fan, homeopathic remedy user ( still learning these) , trying to reduce additives and preservatives in our diet, amber teething necklace using, cute clothes sewing , farm living mom. I have become rather crunchy granola this year. Add in a compost pile and that worm farm my bestie desperately wanted and I may cross into dirty hippy category. ( ok not dirty hippy Tony yells at me for all the showers and baths I Take in a day. Babies are dirty and my muscles ache leave me alone but hippy does not sound as fun without the dirty) oh and that reminds me our water supply is from a natural spring. That probably places me squarely in hippy territory.

But my question is: do dirty hippies wear three inch heels?

No they dont so I'm safe.

I really do worry about all the toxins we are putting in our bodies via vaccines and our food.hormones in our chickens and cows. All the crap they inject into us through vaccines. It's a mess. Have you seen a recent commercial for meds? Can they make a drug that does t take five minutes to detail all the side effects ? Surely things from nature have to be safer. You can't even get a water supply ( unless you harness the power of a natural spring like me) without it having fluoride in it. ( it's a carcinogen folks)

So I'm quite crunchy these days. But I conclude I'm not a hippy because my motivations are not driven by a desire to save "mother" earth but as a mother who is worried about the side effects of what so called science of today deems health and best. They tell us we all have to do x y z and follow blindly becuase they know best then ten years later say whoopsy you're all at a high risk of cancer and alzheimers and parkinsons because well we don't know it all afterall .

Call me a dirty hippy but I'd much rather take my chances with the nature that was created for us to live in and with.


(and the cloth diapers? Well, have you seen them? They're adorable!)









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New beginings

So since moving to the farm we have no internet. Now granted we could get a landline for the purpose of dial up but between the land line that would never be used as we aren't much on talking on the phone and the price of dial up we'd be paying for dino slow dial up what we'd pay for wifi. So we are waiting it out in hopes that Comcast will find us and deliver us from our dead zone. In the mean time I have a new Iphone that will allow me to blog. It will also allow me to write insane words I did not type because the Iphone thinks its so smart and corrects everything I type. I have never seen the word Hebraic so much in my life. (my finger hits b instead of space frequently and the phrase he says becomes Hebraic)

So that is the reason for my long absence (as if anyone reads this). The tranquility of farm life brings with it electronic isolation.

In the meantime we have of course moved into our house which is wonderful!

More importantly we had our third beautiful daughter Layla Grace.

Her birth experience was amazing as I chose Natural child birth even with back labor. I highly recommend it. Epidurals are overrated. The pain is exaggerated in most cases by over dramatic people. I assure you, what you have in your mind is far worse than reality. Its amazing, exhilirating and empowering and for this mommy who had a miserable pregnancy, it made me want another baby! That is an issue for later pondering...who knows...

Layla is by far our easiest baby. At four months already I cannot believe how shes grown already. She sleeps pretty well through the night and is such a smiling joy. She rarely cries though when she does you know she wants whatever it is immediately. She is beautiful with red hair as I knew she'd have and beautiful blue eyes. We are so blessed.

Throughout the pregnancy Ella kept saying she was the baby . I m your baby mama. I couldn't even sing lullabies that referred to little girls. Upon entering my hospital room and seeing her baby sister's face for the first time she declared "Im a big girl now mama because I am her big sister" I cried. Already emotional and exhausted I found the moment both beautiful and heart breaking because even though I had a new baby I wasn't ready for Ella to be a big girl. I'm still not.

Its been a rough road adjusting for all of us. Ella still needs so much and a new baby needs so much and Tony's work schedule is unforgiving. Through the chaos we've learned a new normal. I love to stay home and am quite content not to leave the house. The hassle of bundling and corralling everyone to the car proves to outweigh the benefits of an outing alone with three children. Besides between baby feedings, diaperings and the many needs of the other two our days fly by much too quickly anyway.

Have I mentioned I love my life? I can't imagine anything better (or more stressful) than being home with my girls day in and day out. So many in our country define success on monetary rewards or career advancement, but what does that gain you? I know some can't stay home but I've found the true definition for me is the smiles on my girls faces and my being there to see them all.

On Our Anniversary

8 years ago today I married my best friend. In that time we've laughed together, cried together and grown together. In 8 short years of marriage we've gone through more than I would have imagined both wonderful and painful. Though I wouldn't have seen some of the turns this life of ours has taken and though some I would not have chosen- I would not have wanted to walk through them with anyone else.

Tony you've been more than my best friend. You're my rock, my constant. I know that no matter what the situation you are there to support me- and to hold my feet to the fire when need be. I love knowing that I can come to you with anything and come back with an honest answer. You are my compass.

I have such admiration for how hard you work to provide for us and allow me to stay home with our girls. I never take for granted the sacrifices you make so that our kids can be raised at home. When we were married 8 years ago being a stay at home mom and homemaker was the last thing on my mind, how things changed when that little red haired blue eyed girl came into our lives! I will always appreciate you doing whatever you could to ensure I didn't miss a moment of our kids' lives.

I still love the touch of your hand on my skin and the strength of your arms holding me brings comfort like nothing else. Even though you're gone frequently I never get used to going to bed alone and miss you every time. Its hackneyed and cliche, but you really do complete me. I can't imagine this life without you.

I'm so thankful and blessed by the time we've shared and everything you've given me. All I can ask for is more time to spend by your side. I love you.

First phase of house remodel...

So the house is nearly finished and I'm just getting around to posting pictures of the process - or what I have. I thought I had taken more pictures but I guess with the monstrous first trimester I had, I wasn't picking up the camera as often - or as soon- as I thought. I didn't think I had pictures even of pre-demo but I found some in the deep recesses of my laptops picture files (Tony gets angry when he sees how many pictures are on here. What does he expect...hello photography...)

This is the house the day after Christmas. It has asbestos siding and roofing on it here... not nice.



This was the closed in porch area. It gets torn off to make way for a 2 story addition.

I love the original staircase. Something charming about it so we kept it. Its covered in layers and layers of lead paint. You would not believe how thick this stuff is. That has to come off. We're still in the process. Its mahogany underneath. Hopefully we'll get it restored with no damage to the underlying wood. If not we'll just repaint it similar to how it is. I kind of like that look anyway- goes with the house.

I forgot to mention earlier- this was Tony's great grandfathers house on his farm. We had the option of tearing it down and restarting but being a history buff and the fact that it was family, we decided restoring it would be much more rewarding.

The floors are hardwood through most of it and we decided to refinish them as well to retain that authenticity. They won't be pristine brand new wood floors but they'll still look nice and have character.




Tearing down the ugly side porch. They've also torn off the shingles and some siding.







The shingles are off and new addition is on you can tell the difference by looking at the roof. There is more house here lol.


New roof is on and the siding is coming off. I was so happy to see that gone!!


Just the wood shed out back. I just love the dark wood for picture backdrops. Very rustic.
We've had new bathtubs at the house for quite some time. Much easier getting them through with no walls...As you can obviously see in this picture- the house was gutted entirely. This however is in the new addition part of the house- hence no outside walls at this point.

Bathtubs in what will be my dining room....

Gutted room. and I think part of the upstairs addition?? Not sure :S I want to say its taken from the master bedroom into the new addition upstairs...

Ella's bedroom. The only way to Laci's room was through Ella's at this point. It will be closed off and their closets will be on the same wall seperating their rooms. There will be a little foyer type area at the top of the steps into the new addition where you can go up the rest of the stairs to the master bedroom and Ella's or the other direction to the wash room, bathroom and to the right to Laci's room. Tony and I have access to the bathroom also through our room.

Laci's room taken from Ella's I believe...Her room originally had a small staircase that led down into the kitchen. It was taken out. Tony told her they were putting in a fireman's pole and ladder for entrance to her room. (this was when they only way through to hers was through Ella's). She was excited. Her best friend Mia wants to move in with us and I'm fairly certain it was the fireman pole feature that piqued her interest.

Stairway banister...

Dining room again. It has a beautiful view of the barn and pasture. Ella already stands at the door and window (obviously not shown here) and watches the cows. HER cows.

Project Life Weeks 29 and 30

Week 30 : July 4-10


Here is my blue living room! You can't see the streakiness in the pictures but the painter had to redo it. It was pretty funny because the day before we were up there to help and he would not leave Tony alone as he tried to paint the ceiling. Every stroke he took he got nagged about uneveness and runs. Well we left and the painter guy did the living room himself . When we came back I couldn't believe it! Had it just been friends fine but the pro very picky painter had runs and streaks everywhere. It looks great now though. I love the blue I picked with the wood work. The floors will be hardwood in that room as well.

My friend in AZ decided to start making children's clothes and asked me to do the photography of her pieces for her website. I LOVE them. Tenderfeet Stitches. click the link to check out her great clothes. This is the Apron Knot dress. I love it, like all her other pieces. The close up shot on the bottom is after Ella was climbing the bails and managed to find a hole to follow all the way down through and disappeared into the hay. It was too funny, she just disappeared!

The cows are never this close. They see us and head way out in the pasture.
I dont' know why because we never even get close to the fence. This day I parked by the barn
and they all stayed there. I guess they didn't expect me to get out.

I had to retake some of Laci in this tunic from the previous shoot. I think she looks so cute here.

Another day of photos for Tenderfeet Stitches. She was a little better at this time around.

For the fourth we were lucky enough to have Tony home for the day. We started with a patriotic lunch after church at a local Chinese buffet lol. After we all napped we headed up to a small lake and let the girls play for awhile. Ella shocked me with how brave she was for it being her first time there this year. She hopped in that Strawberry Shortcake floatie and just took off in the water. She kept going under because she was trying to do a little too much. We had to stay on top of her!
Then we headed up for fireworks. If you look at the upper right hand corner you'll see that is Ella covered up in a pink blanket. As soon as they started she put it over her head. I took her in the car and we watched them from there. The picture of her w/the fireworks was actually taken inside the car. I always hated the loud sounds too as a kid so I feel for her.

Week 29: June 27 - July 3

This was Laci's first shoot for Tenderfeet Stitches. I love the tunic she's wearing. I even wear it on Ella as a dress lol. Laci looks too grown up in some of these though!

My friend in AZ decided to start making children's clothes and asked me to do the photography of her pieces for her website. I LOVE them. The blue and green dress Ella is wearing is now the favorite dress I have for her. The little tank and bloomers outfit is adorable too. She loves it and calls it her Little Bo Peep outfit. She wants to wear it daily. This was our first day of many shoots for Tenderfeet Stitches. Click on the name to see her collection and get some for your princesses! They're timeless adorable outfits you just can't find anywhere nowadays.

We love the Pittsburgh Zoo. This was Ella's first trip though not her first zoo trip altogether. We had a great day and it wasn't too hot so the animals were out and about more than we're used to seeing. We even saw a peacock wandering around the zoo paths with us out of his habitat! Not sure if he was supposed to do that or not but he managed to get back where he was meant to be on his own. I got some shots of the girls with him.

My kids are normally so clean I can send them out in regular clothes to play. We've never really had "play" clothes- but we'll have to start. I don't know how well you can tell since its in collage form, but these girls are covered from head to toe in dirt after playing while Daddy worked up at the new house. Yes, Laci wore all white...

She was "napping" with Laci's eye mask. She's a big ham.

I finally cleaned out and put up their little splash pool. They had a lot of fun- till they found a bees nest under the slide...

Ella is big into dress up now. She went up for pajamas and came down in this...