Is My Worship More than a Song- the Heart of the restless

Last week, I wrote a couple posts, *well one then one to clarify*

Some could have seen them as complaining or critical even of the church.

Really, that wasn't the intent.

The driving force behind it was something strong and powerful.
Something very real in my soul. Something I haven't quite been able to put a label on.

Until now.

Restlessness.

Since January (for awhile before that but to a much lesser degree, an inkling of what it is now) I have wrestled with restlessness.

You see January wasn't the start of a New Year for me, my husband, our family. But the start of a New Life.

God stepped in and picked up the little terrarium the Carey family lives in and gave it a good shake...for about a month and a half.

Nothing notable happened in the worldly realm of our lives in that time period.

Nothing fantastic, nothing tragic.

None of the ordinary outside forces that typically will shake a life -spiritual or not.

No nothing except

God stepped in.

And he shook.

And he shook.

And we quaked.

We quaked with the realization that He was calling us to so much more.

That He wasn't just calling us to more, He was giving the start of our journey of more in calling us to adopt.


As if that were not enough we knew even then that it was just a beginning for us.

Adoption wasn't just one act to be completed for our King then rest on our laurels.

He was not asking a duty of us .

He was requiring us.

All of us.

He was changing our very view of life.

Of our walk with Him.

No longer were to just sit in a church doing the good church things.

We are to get out and do what He tells us to - clearly, unquestionably in His Word.

With that eye opening time, a moment in our lives where it seemed like God came into our very house himself daily, the presence was so unmistakable and strong, our mindsets changed.

We  both hunger for more.
For purpose.
For usefulness.

We. Are Restless.

It is not just us.
We aren't special.

We are made from the same cloth of failure and redemption as any one of our blood bought family.

We are all called to be restless.

God, Jesus, never intended for us to become satisfied while living here.

Jesus told us we would do greater things than he. (not us personally in case you aren't familiar, but all of us, read it yourself : )

Of course, we have to actually try...

What Im realizing is that so many of us are being led to seek something deeper. Something that propels us beyond the pew and into the world.

Many Christian leaders are remarking on a new moving of the Holy Spirit, one that is mobilizing God's people to DO not just be.

Within that movement and the people its affecting there is a struggle.

So many are hitting road blocks within their church as many who

 "crave the good wine of the kingdom but grapple with the old wineskins, eager to find forms that are  able to stretch and contain the fresh movement of the Holy Spirit in our generation" (Jen Hatmaker)

We feel this call upon our lives, an aching in our hearts to do more and are coming up frustrated restrained by the church as yet unwilling to stretch and see past business as usual.

Not every church is like this, some have leadership who run the church as a force to reach people and enact change rather than a place to accommodate Christians, but many more still see the Christian life as teaching people how to be good people, following the rules and making that the focus. If you just smile at work and let people know youre a Christian, well you've run the good race.

But there's more.

And those of us who have been awakened to that can't help but feel restless.

(notice I put "us" in a passive role because it is nothing good in us but it is the spirit of God doing the work)

Church is good and still needed in the same way it has always been. But we need more than a few sermons and songs.

To us we want our worship to be more than a song.

Our lives, are the worship God requires.

The multitude of your sacrifices—
    what are they to me?” says the Lord.
“I have more than enough of burnt offerings,
    of rams and the fat of fattened animals;
I have no pleasure
    in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
¹² When you come to appear before me,
    who has asked this of you,
    this trampling of my courts?
¹³ Stop bringing meaningless offerings!
    Your incense is detestable to me.
New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations—
    I cannot bear your worthless assemblies.
¹⁴ Your New Moon feasts and your appointed festivals
    I hate with all my being.
They have become a burden to me;
    I am weary of bearing them.
¹⁵ When you spread out your hands in prayer,
    I hide my eyes from you;
even when you offer many prayers,
    I am not listening.

Your hands are full of blood!

¹⁶ Wash and make yourselves clean.
    Take your evil deeds out of my sight;
    stop doing wrong.
 

¹⁷ Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.^[a]
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.

Isaiah 1:11-17

Incidentally, this is the passage that nearly brought my husband to his knees in tears in church the day that we had confirmed without a doubt that we were being called to adopt.

Read the whole chapter. While its not about America, its about God's people and the parallels to our country today are staggering.

God isn't interested in our traditions, in the pomp and circumstance of our services.

He wants pure worship.
And what does he see as pure worship?


¹⁷ Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.^[a]
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.

and again

James 1:27

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Our God is good and loving. He doesn't hide His desires from us only to scold us for not following through.

He is clear.

While we cannot earn our salvation through works our faith without them is dead.

We can still go to heaven through the sacrifice of His Son, but what will we have to say for ourselves?

1 Corinthians 3

¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

I don't want to escape through the flames. Do you?

I want my work to be found to be built on costly stones, gold, silver. I want my work to be lasting, eternal  to bring glory to God.

We live once, then we meet God. - Jennie Allen

Live this life to its potential so that when we meet God we have no regrets.

Lets live this faith out, and out loud not to bring attention for us, for we all know we are nothing, it is He in us.

Lets take our faith from the church doors and out into the public where it belongs.

Where Jesus took it.

...you will do greater things....

Lets not work against our pastors but with them.

Our churches need to be better about mobilizing their people, teaching them how to get out and walk this faith in a real authentic way. How to minister to people, where, forming  contacts where their people can be serve. The church needs to help us get out and living this faith and walking it in deed not just word.

BUT

We need to let them know we are willing to be used!

How many pastors feel so frustrated preaching the same thing over and over again while the sheep stare back at them with blank expressions and then shake hands with their brothers and sisters and head to lunch?

Our pastors love us and they love our God and they are beat up continually as they try and make us realize these truths. That our walk with Christ is not a religion, its a relationship. Its real. Its meant to be lived. That we have been given a power that we deny. That if we got hold of that power and yielded to it, we could change the world for Christ.

So we have to reach out to our leadership and let them know we are willing, ready to be molded and filled and poured out as a sacrifice.

Let them know you hear them, you agree with them and that God has moved upon you to action.

Let them know you want to help in whatever way you can.

Our pastors are called to lead us but they  are not called to do everything on their own.

The Church's role is to facilitate in walking this walk but we need to be willing to walk it.

We will all be held accountable for what we have done or not done on our own.

"Our church didn't do those things" will not be accepted as a viable reason not to do the things Jesus called us to so plainly and clearly.

If your church doesn't do these things, and is not open to start something within the frame work of the church, you do it anyway.
 Blaze your own trail.
You wont go alone.
 God will bring people along side you facing the same opposition and aching from the same passions.

Who knows what God maybe calling you out to accomplish, what may be started with that first step.

If we all work together things will change. Great things will happen.

It will take sacrifice, but Jesus calls for nothing less than taking up our cross daily and following Him.

 

If you are looking for like minded people check any of the ladies that are starting this, movement, I guess is the best word for it.

IF

From their site

 

We are a generation who craves the uncomfortable – we will wrestle with hard questions and not know all the answers. We will invest in one another and represent the Church to a generation that needs God.

 

If God is real Then how do we live

Keep making Me

 

Live Like That

 

wrecking ball

 

 

Help Me Find it

This album is like the soundtrack of my life right now.

It depends on what the meaning of church is...

If you read my last blog post, I don’t know what you came away with.

Ive never been one to mince words, some love me for it, some hate me for it- (some I suppose like me but wish I’d be less truthful? )

Whatever you took away from my post (all but one message was a right on, this is how I feel , lets roll …consensus , though I know many more read than contacted me) I will clarify a bit on my stance on church and The Church.

First, I want to clarify:

The post had nothing to do with my own church.

I try and make sure I make it clear that I am talking about THE CHURCH *big C* not my church *little c*. I didn’t go back and re read just now but if memory serves, I did make the distinction repeatedly .

Now I know, that some people, probably those prone to read into everything and seek drama could assume I am talking about my own church or at the very least out of some incident stemming from my church.

They would be incorrect, and I don’t find that I am responsible for the thoughts of those types of people.

Those types of people are going to read things into anything they read and Im sorry, but I can’t be censoring each word with the intent of their trouble inducing minds as the decision factor for what I say.

I don’t play politics.

 I don’t have to.

 I am a housewife.

I don’t claim to speak for anyone.

So lest their be misunderstanding. 

Nothing was about my church nor was the blog post perpetuated by some experience by my church.

Honestly, we haven’t been at our church long enough to know much of anything to make an assumption. I end up in the nursery with Layla but the sermons and bibles studies ive had the opportunity sit through ten minutes of have been about doing more in our Christian lives.

I know the pastor and his wife well as they were our youth pastors and it was a mission trip with that youth group  where Tony and I met.  So we do know them, and their hearts and we love them and trust them. So even though I don’t know much about the ins and outs of that church right yet, I know  we are under solid leadership.

 The attitudes of the church people reflect this as well, being some of the sweetest people you will meet. We are never not greeted with a hug (often I have to ask tony who is hugging me because I don’t know many there, like he does) and there is just a peaceful sweet atmosphere in the place. I think God led us here for those reasons.

We need a place of peace and warmth while we go through this adoption.

Because adoption gets ugly.

I just wanted to be clear to any speculators that its not about our home church but the Church as a whole, not that I have heard there was speculation but I wanted to clarify. And for future reference- im not talking about our church in any blog post.

Is any church perfect.

Nope.

But I’m not using my blog to point out issues in a specific church.  * not that I have seen issues ;)*

So that’s my disclaimer and it stands for all and any further posts I may write. Read into anything what you may, that is your issue not mine, especially when I try and specify I am talking about the entire Church.

Now that that  is out of the way …

Maybe I just have some awesome people in my life (where my 7 readers at) but most of the people I talk most to feel the way I do.

We are tired of sitting on the sidelines playing church while there is a world in need around us.

Churches have meetings, teachings and studies and fellowships and programs out the wazoo to build up and edify the church but what are we DOING.

Yes we give money to this missionary that ministry … on and on and get our tax refund back at the start of the new year from those charitable donations, but I have really felt lately that what God is telling me, is that when Jesus was talking about denying oneself and picking up the cross and following him- he wasn’t talking about tossing a $20 in the offering plate when we have a speaker.

Obviously, lets do that. 

We should still give.

BUT

There was no Buy Your Way Out of Service option in Christianity.

Giving to someone else who is Doing does not give you a free pass to pew warm.

We are all to DO.

Now I know we all have families, and jobs and hobbies, and kids hobbies… to keep us running til we pass out.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t have to do all the things we are called to do.

And let me just say, I’’m not talking a bout a calling in the sense that one is called to Pastor a church or say how we were called to adopt.

I’m not even talking about having something you are passionate about.

We are all called to do things like care for the orphans and widows in their distress.. James 1:27 , be with the hurting, feed the poor, preach the gospel, heal the sick, deliver the oppressed, break chains…

And not just through monetary contribution.

I think the church has stressed giving of money far more over time and we have become a society where we think paying our tithes and paying a little extra here and there is enough.

Its not.

It’s a start…

You don’t have to go across the world, to help.

We have hungry . Right here.

We have hurting.  Right here.

We have the lost.  Right here.

We have widows.  Right here.

I can go on - but I know, reader, you are a smart cookie.

We need not just be bank rolling others to do this

 We need to be doing it.

Ourselves.

My point with the church mobilizing their people to work to a cause in my last post is just that- we pay people to do what we are to do  and just preoccupy ourselves with things in the church.

I do believe that members of the church would have far less time, opportunity and propensity to be petty and pick at each other * look we all know it wont stop entitely* if we were joined together in serving God together like we are called.

 There is something about serving God with others that forms a bond. You really get to know those people on a real level.

Will there still be problems? Sure. We are all still just people working out our salvation.

But I think the churches who do things like this have a far greater sense of community as they strive toward a common goal and are walking out their faith together instead of just talking about.

Am I saying we abolish having church services yes, no, I’m not. Really.

We need church services. 

We need wise pastors teaching us.

I love to sit under a knowledgeable pastor. I get more out of the 10 minutes I get to sit in of my church services before someone has to get me to tend to a hysterical Layla than I do under some preachers in a year.

We don’t need to stop having church services, we need to stop ONLY having church services.

I think churches were meant to be a refilling station.

We go out and pour out all that we have taken in. We let God use us til we are empty.

Then we come back, we NEED to come back, and get refilled, refreshed to go out AGAIN.

Instead most churches today, we come and sit and get our fill, get our fill, get our fill…. Never going out. We just get filled and filled like a big fat tick ready to explode and never pour that out into the lives of others.

How do we do this?

I think each individual is responsible for their own actions – or inaction as it were.

But I think the church should be a force to mobilize people to go out in the world.

Our pastors need to be ( and some are let me be clear) an example.

 Instead of just teaching from the pulpit they need to be getting their hands “dirty” out in the real world around us, doing the things that are supposed to be part of our walk- on a regular basis.

And people would see that and join them.

I think so many times people want to do something but don’t know what that something is, or don’t know how to start.

I know I feel like that often.

If our churches were active in the community, in the needs of others, and open to allowing the congregants to help, we would really be making disciples of our sheep. Leaders would be raised out of that confused mass and start initiating doing these things in their own lives and forming their own groups to feed the poor, help the helpless.

 And I have no numbers to crunch for this but common sense follows that if our church had a visible presence in the community- the community would be in the church.

Form a relationship, a point of contact gain their trust and make them comfortable with the people of the church and they will come in.

You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one…

No really, I’m not.

  

There was this guy. Jesus, you might know him.

He said all this.

 And more.

 He said he required everything.

Not just being a nice gal at work who treats people nicely, and maybe mentions his name and invites co workers to the Easter play *all of this good but still, baby steps* .

 Hes the one that said we would do all this AND MORE.

Jesus said we would DO more than Him.

Do you see that happening around you  anywhere?

I don’t.

And last time I checked- Jesus didn’t lie.

So what is stopping us?

How do we do this?

 Well really I think its quite simple for the American churches with beautiful facilities to start being doers instead of just hearers of the word.

How about instead of giving food to food banks we distribute it at the church?

I know a church in the area who just started doing this.

Why  at the church? It gives the people a point of contact, gets them used to being there, lets them learn faces…

Or better…

How about those big commercial style kitchens so many churches have?

Lets serve the hungry in our fellowship halls, once a month, once a week.

Why not?!

Those are just two ideas. Its not hard. It really isn’t.

And hear me.

You can’t buy salvation with works.

I’m not claiming that. 

Don’t get under condemnation.

You can get saved and sit on your butt the rest of your life and not lift a finger.

If you’re really saved. You’ll still make it to heaven.

But…

Faith without works is DEAD.

What good is your light , your salvation, if you cover it, if  You do nothing.

God gives us these giftings to be used, and not just on Sunday morning in a padded pew.

He wants us to use them for his glory, to reach people.

Lets start reaching people.

My last post wasn’t to be critical of anyone, but yes it is critical of the church *big c…*

We aren’t doing enough and if you can tell me we are and that I am way off base by saying lets get outside of a church building every now and then and use this faith weve been given… then we clearly see Christianity completely differently.

I know the salvation is a gift freely given, but to whom much is given much is required.

We can stop at salvation.

But why stay an infant?

God is calling us to greater things.

I don’t know about you but when I get there I want to have crowns to cast at his feet.

 I want to know  I made something with the beautiful blood bought gift he has given me, instead of worrying about this life and what I can gain here.

What is a few evenings a month or even a week to serve others, to serve our King.

We give more to our kids coaches and dance teachers.

I know I need to do so much more.

I know so many around me want to start doing more.

So lets do it. 

Maybe youre thinking its just that I’m a stay a t home mom and need a hobby… (im quite busy thanks would prefer staying at home rather than serving to be honest)

Or the normal 30 something phase of being an ideologue.

Maybe it is.

After all, Jesus was in his 30’s when He was telling his disciples we were supposed to do all these things.

Did he mean it or was he a dreamer?

I think we are casting our vote with our lives, and what we or do not with them.

Where do you stand?

Hurt or Help

There is something wrong. Terribly wrong going on around us.

Nearly monthly I have people come to me and tell me how hurt they are by the church.

I’ve always been the type of person people open up to. I’ve often wondered if I have “ Free counsel” stamped on my head and often considered opening a roadside stand like Lucy on Peanuts.

I have had people speak over me from the time I was a teen in youth camp that I have the gifting of help.

Can you get more vague please?

In any case, I think part of my non specific gifting must be lending an ear and having something worthwhile to say to help a person’s situation.

This combined with the fact that I am quite vocal with my dissatisfaction with the American church probably find me a safe sounding board for a dangerous topic.

Now to be fair, for the longest time I pooh poohed the thought of people leaving church for a break to seek God on their own, due to exhaustion of church politics and ugliness. 

Then I and my family experienced the very ugly side of church life. 

First, we saw dear pastors and their families torn to pieces like by ravaging hyenas.

I held the hand of a pastors wife during a business meeting as she sobbed and told me the insults and daggers hurled at this faithful families direction. I sobbed with her as she squeezed my hand sharing her pain. 

Then we experienced it ourselves. Just crazy out of control church jealousy and insane obsessions over status climbing.

You think the whispers and rumors you get are bad, try being chest bumped and screamed at at the altar while holding your toddler and baby. And called a foul name- all in front of a visiting missionary. Birthday party invitations are serious business in the church yall!

I get it now.

The church is often a painful place.

Im sorry to all the people I probably rolled my eyes about in my younger days before I peered behind the curtain of the modern church.

Its scary back there!

Its also NOT okay to discuss this. AT ALL. 

Lest ye tarnish the garment of the faultless church.

Because you know, nobody sees through the facade...

Sadly,  in so many churches we are expected to carry on the whole stained glass masquerade where all is well, and life is perfect.

Reality in fact is far from this and the very body that is to operate in truth obfuscates it and creates a culture of dishonesty.  

This culture of masquerade keeps so many holding their hurt inside, smiling through pain, not wanting to bring up the taboo of criticizing their church and becoming ostracized.

Lets face it folks.

Church these days is more often like a trip to the coliseum than a worship service.

Looking around the congregations and the conversations therein you would find yourself more apt to believe you were on the set of Mean Girls than within the Body of Christ. 

"she wore that?'

"how did THEY become friends with the pastor"

(^this statement usually precedes a campaign of character defamation to tear down anyone who dare unintentionally climb the sacred social ladder of the church, gasp)

 "I have been here longer, i should be the sunday school teacher and i'm also long time friends with the pastors mother which obviously qualifies me on spiritual matters"

Its not just the women.

Deacon boards often have become like the mafia strong arming those who don’t agree into submission or running them out Off “their” turf- rather than being a sprit guided force of direction for the church.

It’s a sad state of affairs and its no wonder people are fleeing the pews or taking breaks from the organized church.

I’m no great theologian, I don’t claim to have answers or even insight really but I think one of the underlying issues of the American church could also be contributing to the ugliness we see being 

slung between congregants.

WE HAVE NO PURPOSE.

We of course do have a purpose. 

We have many. 

But church, done in the usual way these days,  amounts to a gathering of people coming together to sit, hear a sermon, maybe praise and worship depending where you are, “fellowshipping” and going about life.

There is nothing connecting us, unifying us - no larger cause to drive us together giving us a collective outlet to put our energies into.

Church, we are to be out there being hands and feet. 

The very body of Christ.

Do you think this metaphor was given to us just to sit that body on a pew and pat ourselves on the back for a job well done?

People ask all the time why God isn’t here God isn’t there.

We know he is. 

We also know we live in a world with free will, a fallen world and those two things mean there will be unpleasant circumstances in every life.

 

We know God is still there , because we have faith in the unseen.

But what about the lost.

Wouldn’t it be so much easier for them to see Christ intervening in dark situations if

 HIS BODY actually showed up?

We are the representation of our Savior on this Earth.

Our feet are to walk to the broken. Our hands to feed the hungry. Our arms to wrap around the hurting.

Because when we do that it is not us who does that but He who is in us.

When we go out people then see His hands feeding them, healing their wounds. His feet rushing to help the broken, chasing after the lost.

You see church was never meant to be a building in which to gather.

 The church was his people

. And his people were to be busy.

It wasn’t for poetic prose that his last directives before returning to heaven were “Go into all the world…”

Go.

He was always saying go.

Not sit on a pew and listen to fifty more sermons this year . * and that is just the “slacker church goer who skips evening and mid week services*

I don’t recall much in the way about being told to go and listen to sermons.

 I know we aren’t to forsake the gathering together of believers but I cant help but wonder what those biblical times consisted of… the church of those days seemed to be operating in the Holy Spirit in their community not sitting in ivory towers pontificating on one verse a week, singing a few songs and going about their merry way.

Perhaps, if we, the church, put our energies into walking out the calls and duties set forth for us clearly in scripture- not only would we see a huge return of people to the church but we would see the unity that every pastor shouts about from the pulpits.

If the church came together and went out and worked together to fulfill the duties of the church, feeding the hungry, caring for the orphan and the widow in their need, laying hands on the sick, seeking the lost. … and on and on. … maybe if we all actually put our hands to the plow together we would not only expend all the pent up energy that is now being used to criticize each other on trivial points and being overly concerned with minor details of church business and each members stance on issue x,y or z, but we would realize that we are one in body and purpose.

Can you imagine.

The Church, spending more time outside the four walls of A church, working together , taking their pledges of reaching the community seriously and actively…

Can you imagine the good not only for the community and the lost, but for the church.

I have people come to me consistently and telling me how hurt they are by the church.

But I also have people coming out of the wood work and telling me they agree with me.

That they are aching and burning to do more.

A sermon isn’t enough for them

Their hands need to help.

Their feet need to go.

I think there is a change on the horizon.

I don’t know that every church will get it.

But I do know that there are plenty of people out there being called up and out of the pew, people who get it , that the change will make a difference.

In the meantime can we all just agree to pray for our churches?

At this point praying for unity is a moot point.

We aren’t ready for that.

Can we pray for our hearts to be changed, to be opened?

That God would give each person in our church a calling, a directive, a purpose to walk out one of the duties listed for us Christians in his word?

If we would just grasp that the things required of Christians in the Bible or still required of us today and sought God for what he would have each of us do right now, I really think we would not only change our churches, but the world.

If we would rally around those in our midst walking out callings of God on their lives and seeking Him for our calling.

 

With everyones hand to the plow, no fingers would be left to point accusingly at the outcast.

With a purpose, maybe the churches today could find that elusive unity that we keep hearing about.

Until that day…