Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I want a dog with a dress. She's going to grow a dress and I want her no silly just good fashion sense

We got a cockerspaniel as an early Christmas gift for the girls the week before Thanksgiving.

She's a good dog but hard to house train and excitable bladder. Thank goodness we don't have carpet but still, it gets old.

Joking one day I said, "why don't we get a different dog? " .

Laci yelled "noo" I was surprised because honestly she doesn't bother a whole lot with Peppermint. So of course I ask her why.

"I want a dog who will grow a dress!"
Me: "you can put a dress on any dog"

"no GROW a dress!"
"What are you talking about Laci?"

"this dog is going to grow a dress and I WANT a dog who will grow a dress !"

"laci that is just silly."

"it's not silly. Its just good fashion sense."

I gave up in the face of absurdity and walked away wondering what on earth made our normally sensible, precocious 8 year old think she had a magical Rumplestilskin type dog that could make fabric and thread come out of nowhere, or worse GROW out of nowhere.

Then it hit me. She was thinking of these pictures:


Our dog is not allowed to grow a dress!

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, January 30, 2012

Make Something Monday

I had a skirt I had finished for Laci but was too small from when I began sewing last year. The girl who had made the tutorial did not have the measurements right. (and though she argued with me that she was right she sent out a correction to the pattern a month later....) I kept the skirt hating that I wasted all that fabric and realized recently how easy it would be to make some doll clothes from it. If I did skirts, the bottom seam would already be done for me.

So I got to cutting ...

They insisted strapless but I think it would be cuter with a strap...

I also made a green ruffle skirt but didnt get a picture. Pretty productive!

-obviously this isn't the same skirt and I didn't make it today. Ella wanted a birthday skirt for Izzy to wear to Chuck E Cheese extravaganza so I used left over fabric from Layla's birthday banner to make a festive bubble skirt.

Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Maybe it prevents bed head?

Laci is our artsy kid. She wants to be a fashion designer and loves accessorizing. The kid does not need glasses but most days has them on because she likes how they look.

Her new thing through out the winter has been "bed hats".

She wears a hat to bed every night and now has her sisters in on it too.

Ella isn't the picture because she's not sleeping here tonight... Again :(

I'm glad I have oddly creative kids- makes being a stay at home mom interesting!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Princesses and Paninis

I love little girls.

Ella had a chuck e cheese party with a few friends yesterday at Chuck E Cheese and today the girls were trying out all the new toys.

As I was eating lunch the princess keyboard she received (thanks Blake and Bubbee) came out playing music . Ella ran away only to return dancing about in a Cinderella dress. She ran a book over to me informing me it was my book for autographs. Apparently my lunch had been transported to Walt Disney World and I was dining at Cinderella's Royal Table at a character meal.

She played the part well, even posing for pictures with my children.

I love little girls:)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, January 27, 2012

American Girl Place - D.C.

Last week we spent Ella's fourth birthday at American Girl Place at Tyson's Corner in DC.

On our way down she apparently thought it was her Chuck E. Cheese party scheduled for a couple friends with her later in the month. This led to a breakdown. On my part.

Not really but I did stress a bit as American girl Bistro was reserved for us not just for lunch but the party package- held by credit card! Not to mention I didn't want to drive to DC and spend an exorbitant amount for a mediocre lunch if it wasn't what the birthday princess really wanted!

After making sure this was how she wanted to spend her birthday- and not what big sister talked her into we continued our journey.

As we pulled into the parking lot American Girl Place was visible in all it's glory and the squeals began - from me. Laci isn't a squealer and I want shrieks of glee so I have to start them and typically one or all will join in.

We started to say happy birthday Ella and Layla started with us! She's never done that before, but she had heard it Many times on the drive! We began to sing Happy Birthday and we heard from the back "appy irtay ooo too!" Layla was singing along! It was her first sentence and her first song with real words. What a sweet birthday treat for Ella!

We found decent parking and rushed inside after stopping for the obligatory front of store pictures.

As we rush inside to doll paradise, no time to ooh and aah as Ella rushed to the bathroom. She was in awe of the bathroom Decor, butterflies on stall doors, doll holders (yes to hold your doll while you potty) and pink pink everywhere. I immediately felt better knowing that if the bathroom was a hit we made the right birthday plans for her.

The girls enjoyed perusing the glass doll cases, a dizzying array of scenes showcasing outfits and accessories like some museum exhibit. The girls declared which dolls they were getting that day, then for the next birthday and Next Christmas and so on- then changed their minds with each new display.
Meanwhile, Layla rode the escalator again and again.

Downstairs Ella found the My American Girl doll she has had her eyes on for months ever since she first debuted in the fall catalog wearing a pink ballerina outfit. Dirty Blonde hair and blue eyes, she resembles Ella quite a bit.

I was able to convince her to hold off on buying until after her lunch so with Marie Grace in hand we headed up to the Bistro.

It was decorated lovely, Ella gasped at the pink gerbera daisies and huge booths in differing shades and hues of pink. Chandeliers in butterfly ceiling murals caught her eyes.

A major bonus to our mid week reservation- we had the bistro all to ourselves for the first part of our meal!

The servers were very sweet and made the girls (and their dolls) feel like royalty. They complimented their outfits noting they had watched them while they were getting pictures taken outside and knew they were the scheduled birthday.

While the girls sipped pink lemonade waiting on appetizers we read the conversation starters on the table.

We got some interesting answers, especially with Ella who may not be quite ready for an intense interview.

Me: "what is the best compliment - that means nice thing- someone has said about you?"

Ella: "well my name is Ella and my favorite color is pink. I have the bestest friend and her name is Rachel, she likes pink too.

Me: " that's great Ella, but has anyone ever said anything nice about you that made you feel good?"

Ella: "I'm not done my list. We both like pink A LOT! Rachel always tries to get the pink things first. I like spaghetti. I have sisters one is a baby. I take dance...

Lunch was mediocre. You're paying Disney world prices without giant animals coming to hug you and give you memorable photo ops, so reheated frozen food and small portions just aren't acceptable. My pasta was good- but not special not enjoyable , it was edible. Tony had a $20 burger and the girls $30 mini pizzas. Now we did the birthday package so we got a nice cake (yummy and pretty but the box had a grocery store label) and the girls got a gift bag so that factors into price, but still bistro- please.

After eating Ella decided it was time to dance. She got up in The middle of the bistro and clogged and did some kind of freestyle. I love This about her. It doesn't matter where she is- she dances. If she hears a song that moves her, well she moves . Layla joined In and we had our own dance party.

Apparently children dancing is the international sign that a table is done with their food and the table was cleared and out came the cake- an all pink cake.

The staff(2 girls) awkwardly sang happy birthday looking around and voices fading in and out as though they were surprised they were mainly doing a duet. I'm sure most mouse sing loud but at that moment I was singing a word here and there as my big camera hid me holding back tears. The cake and candles hit home that my baby Ella was four and for me four is a new milestone solidly closing the door on baby hood- and all that hits standing in the American girl store.
They did have Layla yell singing her newly learned phrase "appy urtay appy urtay" throughout the song so they had some help.

After she blew out the candles I went and hugged her and whispered mommy thoughts to her. Layla screamed as she saw the cake being taken away to be cut and Ella started to cry because she thought she didn't get to eat it.

As they brought our slices out Layla walked over to Ella singing her version of happy birthday. It was the sweetest thing she's ever done.

Tony had to take Layla to the escalators and that left me to be a little more relaxed and enjoy the girls. They were eating cake and ice cream and Laci said
"look mommy, I'm going to eat elegant"
She then took dainty bites and held her spoon just so.
After a second of watching her sister Ella turns to me and says
"and mommy look, I'm going to eat like Beast"

I laughed so hard. Of course Ella would eat like beast.

The girls got a goody bag with a book and a cute birthday shirt for their dolls, even a plastic balloon for the dolls to hold. We all thought that was pretty great and the girls had a blast posing for pictures with their partying dolls. Poor mari grace barely survived the party as Ella knocked her chair off the table nearly 30 times. There may be a conspiracy to get dolls sent to the doll hospital (it's a real thing people) involving the bistro and doll chairs. Layla and Tony made an early exit to ride the escalator for a half hour.

Now for the exciting part, the girls got to choose dolls! Laci got one too because a trip I thought we were taking around her birthday didn't happen and she wanted to pick one out at the store so chose to wait until Ella's birthday. A phone call from grandma allotted Ella another doll or something equal in price.

Ella nearly lost her mind making this choice. Her heart was set on the blonde my American girl doll but we had to keep going between floors to pick what she wanted from grandma. A bed, clothes, horses, another doll? Maybe she should get McKenna- the girl of the year - and her gymnastic equipment. As we headed back downstairs for the fourth time in five minutes a young employee decided to offer what she thought were sage words of advice after learning my four year old was picking a birthday present shouting after us "we recommend the bitty baby or bitty twins for children under 8"

Sigh "she already has all of those and Marie Grace and Kanani..." I replied, Already on the escalator trying go keep Ella from running down it. (I have irrational escalator phobias and grim scenarios play out in my mind during slow ascents and descents)
As I shook my head at the oblivious very young associate trying to tell me not to buy an 18" doll and instead get the cheap baby ones I wondered
1. If that was policy because I cannot imagine a store laid out to entice you to buy insane things like pianos and victrolas for baby dolls would really try and get you to spend LESS money on a cheaper option
2. Today is a school day so she is at least 18 which means I am so old if I am thinking a college student is "so young" Ella is four today and I am old. Terrible terrible realizations. Thank you American girl store. Maybe you should add wrinkle cream to your stock.

Once downstairs another terribly young associate told me what a good choice we had made in coming mid day on a Wednesday. Apparently every Saturday turns into mommy daughter roller derby at the store - the skates (except for the bkxes of doll roller skates in julie's accessory display) with elbows flying, angry words and wall to wall people all vying for dolls. The worst place apparently is the salon line where delusional people stand for an hour to pay $20 for someone to put a dolls hair in pigtails....

After gaining a new appreciation of the unexpected blessings that homeschool provides (like doll shopping without deceiving a black eye) we continued out search. Ella was soon overwhelmed and when I would offer options to get an answer her eyes glazed over and she kept saying nonsense words. she ran in circles for a moment until I placed her on a bench. It was getting bad. I was afraid we had broken her.

After sitting down for a minute I made an executive decision after determining she answered "doll" to
"would you rather have two dolls or a doll and a bed"
I'm still not certain, as she was still staring off blindly and had shown anxiety that my questions of furniture or clothes meant in her mind zero dolls not one doll AND other things. I decided the choosing of $100+ of other items may put her in some kind of mental breakdown from the stress so we got 2 dolls and we headed back upstairs to grab McKenna to go home with "Isabella" her look alike doll. Laci had decided on Julie months ago and was set.

After an endless photoshoot with the McKenna cut out as Ella tried to mimic her pose exactly, our day at American girl was done.

It was somewhat stressful thanks to Layla but overall very fun. I have to admit I, as most mommies I'm sure, love these dolls as much as the kids. I wish I'd know they existed long ago. They were around even "way back in the 80's " as my kids like to say about my childhood.

Insane cash drop and all, I'm looking forward to visiting again for Laci's birthday. We left with two ecstatic little girls, an exhausted baby and ten dolls in the car. (many had come along for the ride) . It was a great day full of girlhood wonder. And pink. Lots and lots of pink.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, January 23, 2012

Make Something Monday- bubble skirt

It's Monday again and I've committed to making things on Monday. I really like it. Sometimes I need motivation to take something from "I should do this sometime" to actually making it happen. The bestie and I are forever saying "we could totally do that" but never do! So this whole Make Something Monday thing is pushing me to create and I love that!

If anyone decides to take a Monday and Make Something, send me a picture and I'll feature you and your wonderful creation! If anyone wants to join me on a Monday and Make Something, lmk we will do it. Creepy stalkers need not apply.

So here is what I made today,

Apparently a super shorty short bubble skirt. Marie-Grace is going to need to wear tights or leggings under this for reals. Otherwise I love it!
Goes great with the American Girl DC store shirt we picked up as souvenirs for Ella's birthday! (ag Post coming tomorrow)

Found the tutorial here

Not really sure if I went a bit overboard on the bubbling or if the numbers were wrong but I'll probably add a tad to the length next time. It was really easy and really fast. I think this will be my go to skirt for when the girls want me to make clothes for their dolls. Try it out for your girls! ( or I'll make ya one for $10:) )

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Happy Birthday Ella

Four years ago the brightest blue eyed baby I've ever seen came into our lives. From the moment we were born we were struck by her big beautiful eyes and long lashes. The nurses loved the blonde highlights through her dark hair. Little Ella has always been a beauty.

As she got older her eyes got bigger, wider, bluer ; her lashes longer, fuller and darker. The dark hair with blonde streaks became blonde and curly. People everywhere wanted to stop us and tell us what a beautiful baby we had. Nearly everyone said she looked like a porcelain doll and she did.

At four people still are always telling me how beautiful she is and she takes their breath away.

She's a petite waif little girl. There is just something ethereal about her looks, sometimes, even though I see her daily she takes my breath away too. Those crystal blue eyes edged in the darkest longest lashes I've ever seen, the cute button nose and rose bud lips all framed by the , now loose, blonde curls. She's a beauty. If only she would let me take her pictures in a real shoot I would be sure to get some stunning ones.

Even more than her beauty Isabelle is full of life. From the beginning her joy was exuberant and her anger fierce! I even nicknamed her Grisslebelle for those moments as I explained to her a princessy name as Isabelle does not fit with the violent fits she can throw. Also Griselda. As a toddler her bad moments were draining for us with screaming fits no one could stop but her happy moments were contagious and we couldn't help but laugh right along.

Thankfully she has become more even keeled in the last couple months but she doesn't cease to bring us smiles.

She lives in her own cotton candy colored world and often i wish I could go there with her. She sees things differently and makes our little world better for it .

I can't begin to detail all the wonderfully amusing moments she's brought us, though many are recounted in this blog, everyones favorite segments, but there are some things that are recurring that capture her unique being:

- she has named her tummy Pinky; she doesn't get hungry, Pinky says it needs food. She doesn't get tummy aches - Pinkh is sick.

- She loves all things PINK. Pink is Ella, Ella is pink.

- She doesn't walk around the house she glides and dances about humming as if she is dancing at an invisible ball only she can see.

- Princess gowns are casual wear to Her Royal Highness Isabelle

- She speaks her own language. I can't even give examples because it makes no sense to me but she has her own words for many things. I'm not quiet fluent enough to recall them now but I am enough to understand what she means when she says it. She knows the real words , for those who don't know her , and speaks perfectly well but finds the actual words too boring. Terms like "floopy" are Better in her world.
Also most normal words must be prettied up by adding a y or long ee sound to the end.
- She will break into dance anywhere that the music moves her. She has danced in every mall we've been too, through Disney World, during fourth of july fireworks,elven the zoo. I think she one ups Buddy the Elf's mantra of "the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear " and takes it to the next level by spreading joy by dancing everywhere for all to see.

- She currently asks daily to go swimming. In the summer she doesn't ask about it but as soon as the weather cools the demanding to swim begins.

- She absolutely hates kissing. She always turns away screeching as though her eyes are burning. New years eve was fun. I had not thought about how traumatic Dick Clarks rocking NYE may be for a kiss a phobe - after all everyone kisses. So at midnight as I kiss my husband I hear a scream followed by rapid fire commentary

"Oh no they're kissing! everyone every where is kissing. Aaah even mom and dad are kissing !!no no stop it everyone stop it everywhere what is happening?!?"

More recently she ripped off her 3 d glasses and burrowed herself into my arm pit just before Beast and Belle locked lips. Nothing worse than seeing all of NYC makeout than to see a kiss in 3d on the big screen.

- she creates characters. Her current favorite to be is Dr. Makeup. Apparently a doctoral degree does not include teaching one to open their own penguin make up case because I always have to assist the good doctor on this.
Another character is Buffalo Nookins who was formerly known as Bitty Bear as names by the American Girl company, however has been renamed by Ella when she reads me his adventures.

- She is a hard core Barbie fan. She has been since she was 1. She has never seen a Barbie she hasn't needed 3 of. She even named her new bitty baby Barbie Grace and Barbies bear is named Ken. Sadly her love for Barbie has not saved them from multiple limb amputations and decapitations. I'm nit sure what goes down but I find a lot of body parts.

She always has some crazy, quirky down right adorable things to say each day. I love talking with her because we have conversations like this:

Ella-" Can we get another Doggie?"
Me:"We just got this doggie. Don't you like her? "
E:"Yes but I want her to have a mommy"

Because everyone needs a mommy and if they don't have one you can just buy one.

I love you Ella Bella. You are so very , very special to all of us. You bring me so much happiness every day and I enjoy every moment I spend with you. I love you more than pickles Isaboo.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Make something Monday- yes I have a calendar.

I know it's Tuesday but here was my make something Monday.

Tonys cousin and her family just loved to L.A. And they got the girls American Girl Place tshirts and for their dolls to match. We are headed to D.C. this week for ella's birthday and the girls wanted to wear the shirts. Works out fine for them because they have pretty pettiskirts thet will match but the dolls have nothing to match! So I'm making skirts for them. This is Ellas. I have yet to begin to start Laci's!!

Poor felicity has seen better days. She isn't snorting cocaine either. I tried to give her a baking soda facial scrub and apparently missed a bit.
I'm thinking of paying for the salon for her while we are there. She needs help.

If anyone wants AG clothes lmk. Im going to be an AG undercutter :) $30 for doll clothes? Crazy!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Stop being stupid Saturday

These little blocks are stirring up the toy community. Why? Because they're pretty, oh no! We are reinforcing that girls like pretty colors and well Girly things. We are squashing out decades of womens lib (the movement that has most damaged women btw) . Girls wanting Girly things somehow makes them inferior to boys apparently, boys who btw have shelves and shelves of very masculine themed (ugly) legos to reinforce their stereotype without one outcry being heard.

Since when did different mean we aren't equal. Men and women; boys and girls have differences. We aren't supposed to be the same. All this relativism makes me so irritated. Just because someone says we are the same because that's their view of how if should be doesn't make it true or change a thing.

Why are we so threatened by girls being feminine. Why is femininity bad. I know the women in our society our obsessed by proving their equal to men. How does taking attributes of woman hood to make us more masculine prove that? Doesn't that make us weaker? That to prove we are equal by shedding what characteristics make us different from men strips us of not only natural identity but power. It makes us seem weaker because women are acting like men to seem equal. Hillary Clinton... Do you hear me? Put those ugly pant suits away.

What is wrong with a girl loving pink or princesses . What is wrong with her wanting to build a house with pastel colors insread of the primary colors of a standard Lego bucket?

Why didn't Lego do this before? I got so tired of the same primary colored blocks plus green. I'd have loved not just pink but other hues of blue to play with. I imagine I'd had have played with legos a heck of a lot more had I been able to expand on the color palate. I wasnt even a Girly kid- I hated pink! ( now my favorite after three baby girls)

So stop being stupid America and let the princesses have their pink blocks. I'm almost positive it won't stop them from becoming successful in life.

I'm buying some tonight for Ellas birthday. Just to fight the stupidity.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, January 6, 2012

Santa, I KNOW him!!!

Christmas eve as I said before is my favorite part of Christmas. The expectation and excitement, the beauty of reflecting on Jesus birth...

I love Christmas day but find it anti climatic. The kids rip open Presents and it's over. The pageantry is in the eve prior.

After reading Twas the Night Before Christmas, the kids went to bed but did not fall asleep til 2 AM. This was problematic as we let them sneak down to see Santa. Our bedtime was determined by their falling asleep- Santa won't come if your awake afterall- putting on this Santa charade, the kids falling back to sleep and the time to put out the presents.

We cleaned the house biding our time until finally movement ceased upstairs. I helped Tony get into his outfit. Usually I'm with at least one kid in bed but this year Layla had already fallen asleep. It was fun transforming my husband into Santa. A little odd but overall sweet. I wish I had a picture of me kissing Santa. Why didn't I think of that.

It just made me reflect on what an incredible daddy my kids have.

Santa suited up I went up and rang a sleigh bell in the girls room to wake them and stealthily tossed it back out of their room. They stirred but didn't quite wake so I whisper yelled "did you hear that ?"
Groggily, wiping sleep from their eyes they both simultaneously whispered
"Santa, Santa"
But they didn't move.
I had to say yes Santa and then laci sat up like electric and rushed the door. Ella still lifeless was being scooped up in my arms. Laci was already down the Hall.

I finally caught up to a delirious Laci- she's very odd when woken up from deep sleep and managed to both wake her into full consciousness and stop her from bolting down the stairs.
We scooted quietly down the stairs , aside from my alert cough to Santa- we need them to be sleepy so they arent alert enough to catch on. At the bottom I assigned posts. Ella and I would sit on the floor hiding behind the side of a chair while laci would stay on the stairs peeking Around the wall and using the back of the same chair for cover.

Ella clung to me fiercely while laci popped up and down from behind her furniture fort with skills honed from using her spy gear that made up the bulk of her presents last year.

Suddenly she decided shed seen enough or had been seen, and bolted up the stairs despite my shouts to stay. Santa had put out presents she had seen what she came to see. This triggered a fear response to the clinging Ella who now buried her head in my neck long lashes scrunched tight as she willed her eyes to forget shed seen anything.

I kept trying to turn her head and pry open her eyes - yes I did- to no avail. My poor husband was putting on a show for no one. I sat back against the wall and watched, smiling to myself how blessed I was to have such a family and such moments- even if they didn't go as intended. As Santa picked up a snow globe in his gloved hand, turning it around and holding it high in the air ( everyone who has seen The Santa Clause knows snow globes are important to Santa) I got sucked into the illusion forgetting that I tightened that big black belt over a pillow on my husbands stomach and believed for a moment that Santa was here. How I wished my kids were watching that with me.

He was finishing up the presents and I got sad knowing he was about to his dancing Santa routine without laci to watch her favorite part. I was able to get Ella to take a brief peek of him eating a cookie and as he downed some milk that had sat on the counter far too long I heads creaks on the steps. Laci had returned.

I waved her to hurry up and whispered "he's eating your cookies"

She told me to be quiet - her presents were at stake- and reassumed her position.

Then Santa examined a singing snoopy decoration and laci bounced a little. We giggled knowing he was going to finally do a christmas jig. I watched her face light up and the attittude and skepticism of whatever stage this age is considered wash away as the magic of Christmas filled our downstairs. And of course, I started to cry.

I giggled again to stifle the tears and she sternly shushed me finger to lip with a big smile. We watched together, as Santa danced about our kitchen to a hallmark toy. I watched , perhaps For the last time, my baby girl for whom this tradition was started, stared in awe struck wonder at a large red velvet cloaked stranger dancing loving every minute, believing whole heartedly santa was in our midst.

I started to break down and was glad that Santa ho ho hoed and made his exit so laci wouldn't see me too busy scurrying back to the safety of bed - in case he flew by the window to check sleep status. Glad for the dark I sucked back sobs As u pried ellas gripping arms from my neck, lashes still clenched shut, And tucked them in.

" he did it again mama. Santa danced. I love that."
"maybe he does it just for you Laci. "
"maybe "
I kissed and tucked quickly the emotions catching up to me. I barely had my bedroom door shut when the sobs came.
I was tired so emotions were exaggerated, perhaps not, and k cried and I sobbed. I replayed the look on her face, the glint of sheer joy and excitement in her eye and realized I may never see that on Christmas eve again. That magic was hard fought for this year, and I am no match for age and maturity, for the cold hand of worldly reality that steals away childhood fantasies one by one.

I cried, sobbed for twenty minutes. I love the magic of childhood so much. Seeing it through their eyes is beautiful and I hate that is being taken from her, even if it is only natural.

As sad as I was that this was likely our last Christmas like this with her, it was our best Santa moment together, maybe for that very reason.

"Where are you Christmas
Do you remember
The one you used to know
I'm not the same one
See what the time's done
Is that why you have let me go"<\blockquote>

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Christmas Eve revisited

I know Christmas is so two weeks ago, but I spent my holiday season with my kids so I'm behind on archiving our memories for this time.

My last post was about the wonders of Christmas Eve candle light service and guess what. We didn't even go
Layla screamed all day. Just all day. I didn't see a point in going to just sit in the nursery all night. She was rotten too. As I cleaned my phone got lost and I spent half an hour digging through trash because I had to reply to a text from our pastor before service started. She screamed the whole time. That kind of made the decision for me. We were skipping the candle light service.

I hated it , but I hated the thought of us going more. What makes it special is the time together, the little kids faces lit by the soft glow of candlelight and that was just not going to happen with me Layla and Ella in the nursery.

Instead, we stayed home and ate sandwiches from our deli platter that we buy every year for Christmas. We opened Christmas eve gifts in a leisurely manner- even taking pictures together in our matching christmas pjs. Yes we did.

I like to watch Polar Express on Christmas eve with the kids and this year with Laci's wavering belief it was a must.

I cried. Alot. At strange moments too.

Shortly after the main boy gets on the train they pull through a small town with decorated store windows. The kids look in Awe as they pass by Christmas themed displays, especially moving Santa. All the kids gasp and smile At the sight of this Santa, including the main character boy- until he, and we through a zooming in on a gear, sees that it's just a wind up device.

I've never noticed this before somehow. The camera zooms in on a gear and then as it pans out we see an old style turn key As Santa turns to the side. The boys smile falls as does his belief.

This one scene summed up this year for Laci to me. She still had that child like belief lingering, but her eyes were opening to the world around her and zooming in on reality. It just made me think of all those zippers on the Disney characters this year.

So I teared up.

There were cookies to be selected and left out for Santa, reindeer food to be spread the real Christmas story to be read from the Jesus story book bible yet so we didn't finish the movie sadly.

Laci did sit with her bell Santa left her years ago,throughout the movie and traditional activities and declared she can still hear it ring.

I hope, in some way, she always does.

Tony reading Twas the Night Before Christmas, the last thing as do before bed on Christmas Eve every year. I love traditions.
Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone