Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Here's what Wednesday 4

I am loaded with enough fuel and fire for a flaming here's what due to this weeks events but being that it's my anniversary, I'm going a new route.

Here's What:

I'm amazingly blessed with a wonderful husband. I could not have asked for a better man to share my life with or be the father to my kids.

Tony is so selfless. He works 70+ hours at csx- an employer that pretty much treats employees as property - so that I can stay at home and raise our kids instead of a daycare. Because he works so many hours and at crazy times at a job where you're not allowed to call off more than once eery two months, he misses out on a lot with these kids- and this is a daddy who cherishes time with his princesses. I can't express how much I appreciate this sacrifice. I could go on for pages but i had a moment last night when I stopped and just had a moment.

You've had them. That instant where something seemingly insignificant in it's own right becomes momentous because for whatever reason it puts in
Focus something of great import.

For me it was how Tony reacted to my awful beach trip with the kids and the events that precipitated an early departure just a day after arriving.

To go On this impromptu trip with a friend and two women I did not know ( the latter being the issue leading to our leaving) he had to change his vacation week because I wouldn't leave if he was going to be at home "on vacation" while we were gone. He also gave up what plans he had for us because we already have a vacation in the works for later In the summer.

- He puts us first- far beyond himself.

I truly value his hard work. He goes on little sleep at random hours to work twelve hours to Many times get only ten hours off. He only is guaranteed one off day a week. Because he works so hard , I hate wasting his money. He's not greedy or miserly but I know the sweat and sacrifice that go into each dollar and I was so mad that so much was wasted on a trip we didn't get to finish that it tore me up to leave.

- He is an excellent selfless provider , doing what he must not to just provide our needs but to give us what we want.

I had been really upset all evening , well actually since we arrived due to what I can only describe as a reality show brawl atmosphere . He gave ul his few hours of sleep to call and talk and check on me, trying to calm and comfort me.

- Hes my security blanket

While i was upset at the wasted cost he however only thought of me and the kids and our well being. He didn't see his money wasted because his kids got a few hours of beach time ( I however am still boiling over the waste because I know how hard earned it was) and to him even though it was just a few moments of fun - it was worth the expense for his girls.

- He is an amazing father who puts his girls and their happiness first in his priorities and a smile on their faces is worth any cost.

He then immediately went into fixing mode and said he'd switch in September to a job he doesn't like for a couple weeks in order to get a few days off in a row so he could take the kids to the beach and make up for what was taken from them yesterday.

- He is our band - aid. Always trying to fix what went wrong whether it is his fault or not.

I was talking to him as I was leaving. I was fearful because I have panic attacks on the bay bridge, I hate traffic and driving in unfamiliar areas. He was trying to assure me I'd be fine that I don't I've myself enough credit. I needed to hear his voice, just talking to him helped me steel myself to drive at midnight with three kids.

- Hes my encourager. He builds me up when all around destroyers try to tear down.

I know these things about him at any given moment. They are his core, they make up his very being. These are the things that drew me to him, that made me love him.

In that moment standing in a gas station parking lot Talking to him as I got ready to leave it hit me squarely. In a moment where I was crying , feeling tense, stressed , angry and more - a cacophony of all negative emotions- I smiled and felt warm and comforted. I'd remembered all the things I know deep inside about this wonderful man I call husband.

"My creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist."
- John Keats

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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Uh oh Oreo

I've spent the day packing for this beach trip tomorrow that we are undertaking. Or I am at least. Tony isn't going, I'm taking three kids 7,3, and 10 months with a friend and two of her friends.

I'm not sure what madness took me over to think this was doable. I've waffled since making the decision between "yay beach" and "omg this is going to kill me".

The eve of the venture has arrived and as of 10:30 pm , my packing remains unfinished. In my frenzy of getting everything together on my own Ella asked for a snack. She wanted our beach snacks and I directed her instead to a box of Oreos from SAMs club . They are in individual sleeves.

While The baby is content, resting for a moment , I decide to take a shower to wake myself up to finish the task at hand.

In comes Ella chocolate all over needing to wash her hands . she is slightly bent over with the look of guilt shadowing her countenance.

"you ate that whole sleeve, didn't you?" I say knowingly

"yeeeees "she draws out in a whine.

"how's your tummy feeling now" I inquire.

"full . Very full"

"oh yeah."
"and sick. I think I'm going to be sick"

"I imagine you will"

Ten minutes later and a handful of throwup her suspicions are confirmed.

As are mine- this trip may kill me.

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Here's What Wednesday

Like many, I've been following the Casey Anthony trial. Unlike some I've watched since Nancy grace first bellowed "BOMBSHELL" in July 2008. I've had many opinions on the case as evidence poured in over three long years, none of which included even a brief moment of "she didn't do it".

Now, after a long wait and a DVR full of InSession ,the end of the road comes- and justice is nowhere in sight.

There has been much outcry- obviously those crying out for Caylee , but also from those against the current jurisprudence system we incorporate and the jury itself. As we've all heard plenty of the first sentiment and likely all feel the same, I'll be tackling the latter two.

Here's What:

We need a professional jury system. I first heard the idea a few years ago and it resonated. America is not what she once was . We embrace mediocrity and many fall in line for the dumbing down of America.

I have no faith in a jury of my "peers" deciding my fate God forbid I'd be found on trial, rightly or wrongly, or in a case where I'd be represented by the prosecution.

If anyone struggled through jury selection on this trial you watched as those who had successful careers were dismissed for financial hardship. What were we left with ? Two teachers- one as a juror; one as an annoyingly outspoken alternate. (Russ huekeler)

The rest of the jury was comprised of a couple senior citizens (not agist but this will come into play in a moment) ; one of whom was a religious African American woman who misunderstands the Christian admonition of not judging and takes it to a ridiculous literal sense whereinsomuch she can't judge a defendant. What?! ( honorable judge belvin perry did not allow prosecution to dismiss her)

We also had people with prior drug convictions, one with familydomestic violence convictions and two who never finished high school.

Granted acquitted child murderer Casey Anthony failed to finish high school making them peers, but still...

Here's what:

We need a professional jury system. At least in felony cases where the evidence is now profoundly beyond the average persons understanding.

Yes the experts get up and try to put it in laymans terms, but have we looked into just how much your average jury can appreciate the gravity of such evidence?

Where confusion lies therein reasonable doubt breeds.

Our jurisprudence system was formed long ago before we even had electricity. Cases were circumstantial unless you had an eye witness.

Even take out the scientific and technological evidence of this case and what was left would have been a slam dunk for the prosecution- even within the last few decades.

Thanks to csi and NCIS- coupled with a woeful lack of understanding of civics - common jurors of today expect DNA at every crime scene and if not you haven't proven your case.

I went into the trial thinking the case was largely circumstantial, I left it surprised at the overwhelming scientific evidence brought to the table. However since no DNA was found on a piece of tape that had rotted for seven months in a hurricane flooded swamp- this jury felt the case was not proven.

I contend states cases of forensics cannot fully be appreciated by a common juror. In this case a murderer is walking, in other cases I feel you run the risk of the opposite; jurors can be awed by what they see as overwhelming evidence simply by misunderstanding and giving too much weight things that may prove nothing - and an innocent man loses his freedom.

Either way it's a risk too great to ignore and something needs done.

Go ask your grandma what googling is. She will smack you in the face. Now put that same grandma who thinks googling should be done behind closed doors and never spoken of in polite society in a jury box and tell me she can adequately wade through computer evidence.

Take your average juror and ask them to explain the process of decomposition and how a blow fly can prove a dead body is in the location.

I don't think we are doing defendants or victims any favors by placing such a heavy burden as deciding justice in the hands of Joe schmo. At least not in science laden cases.

My aim in pointing out prior arrests in other jurors on the case is this: it's well known many, not all , former "cons" have serious issues with law enforcement and prosecution. It's not a far leap to understand why. That being said, how can you have a fair jury when some may be biased against an entire branch of the system?

Yes lawyers can strike jurors however the number is limited and the judge can overrule as was done in this case.

As far as this jury goes , I feel they were all that is wrong that I listed above. In addition they were lazy - seen to be not taking notes especially during the prosecution case and deliberating less than 11 hours on a two month case. These jurors did nit even ask to see one not ONE piece of evidence out of the hundreds of pieces entered in by both sides. I'm assuming that includes transcripts of testimony.

I will not be convinced they did their due diligence in that amount of time.

This was a jury sequestered too long ( google effects of sequestration on trial) . They wanted to get home and noone had a fight left in them. It's summer afterall.

This was a jury who did not even understand the states burden. I keep hearing " the state didn't prove motive" the state does NOT have the burden of climbing in a defendants mind and profit motive. They also thought "reasonable doubt" meant any doubt at all and did not realize common sense was to be used in their determination of doubt.

This was a jury overwhelmed by confusion from forensics to defense.

This was a case that was not done justice by unqualified jurors.


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Eta: Many will argue the chance of paying off pro juries however the same can be done with lay juries. Manu speculate in high profile cases such as the anthony case jurors know they will garner more interest with a controversial or shocking Verdict.

To that end juror number three jus had an all expense paid Disney trip for her ENTIRE family, sisters nieces nephews etc.

Other jurors have agents and are brokering five figure interview deals...

All on The back of a dead baby girl.