Lets be real : it only marginally keeps me on track and only temporarily, but people seem to enjoy my kids stories and my sleep deprived brain doesn't retain enough of them on its own so it helps me as well.
I sit here with an incapacitated Layla as close as she can get without becoming part of me.
Earlier today, playing on the trampoline (the death trap of childrens' play equipment) she landed wrong and "twisted my weg bc my knee didn't want to work"
She came in carried by a sister howling in misery.
Real tears flowed and I don't doubt she was indeed injured.
That was 8 hours ago and anytime she puts weight on it she cries still.
She hobbles slower than Tim Conways worlds oldest man character when we ask her to do things.
But the funny thing is- she will hobble on it when asked to do something.
If she gets up to go somewhere though on her own the minute she makes contact with the floor she screams and cries like its broken.
Its not.
Its not even swollen.
Or red.
Or anything.
Tony keeps telling her shes fine, but I feel the need to give her the benefit of the doubt. She's only 3 after all and we can't know for sure whats she feeling. She can't describe it to me other than
"its not so bad that I have to go to the dr mommy. Its just good enough that I can stay here at home. Ow."
She milks things. Alot.
So I was feeling quite confident that when the pain went away as soon as My Little Pony Friendship is Magic appeared on the screen that she was ok.
But still 8 hours later when she cries when she puts weight on it I got worried.
When I had to carry her to the bathroom bc she just.couldn't. make. it. on her own, I inspected.
Not able to decide between injury or knobby knees I carried her like a tiny infant up to her daddy for a second opinion.
Of course he immediately declared her fine. But I wasnt sure. After all I had to force her to put weight on it even on our super soft bed to show him how much it still hurt.
Until, I walked out from getting her pajamas and she was standing on the footboard of my bed holding the top of it and one foot in a square each (it is kind of like a grid looking of open squares ) on hard solid wood in a way that had to put pressure directly on that knee.
So yes, she is a huge FAKER. And she is also a better actress than most of young Hollywood.
I need to get her an agent.
I don't doubt she hurts some, but not to the degree that these tears indicate.
Now the problem is - I don't know how they got this way.
All three to an extent are so dramatic about pain.
So bad so that I never know if theyre bad enough for a dr trip.
We almost Never go to the dr. but I always am in limbo with them because they seem to be in dire straits.
But its so frequent now that were I a neglectful parent I would ignore every complaint. But im not so I keep a close eye on them and analyze everything. Its exhausting. Its either that or get a punch pass for frequent vistis at the dr office but I"m sure you don't get anything good. Probably just a sample of ointment or something as your prize.
We've never indulged them when hurt. Obviously we cared for them but we always try to be non plussed when inured.
Oh you fell off the chair because immediately after I turned my back after I told you to sit still you stood up and your lips bleeding? Heres a wet papertowel dab that blood we have to go.
Layla has averaged 2 bloody lips per year of her life. She's the hardest to control.
We haven't helicoptored them. We let them play as kids.
I remember when Laci was 1 we had a friend with a 4 year old over. Laci was expertly climbing the ladder and faux rock wall to her swing set while I stood at a safe but not overshadowing distance and the 4 year olds mom had wrapped herself around the childs waist like a fleshy safety net whispering be careful be careful be careful the whole way.
Now the ladder has like four rungs, we werent in a tree house, so even if they did fall they'd have to try and fall in a way to really get injured.
They ride a four wheeler and have a trampoline. We don't baby them.
And still they always put on oscar award winning performances for minor injuries.
I thought we'd saved ourselves from t his by playing off injury and sickeness from the start.
Unfortunately, we were just blessed with three actresses who see every scratch as *their* moment.
Or every time theyre to clean their room as a chance to hone their acting skills.
You'd think with Ella that room cleaning was the same as a big mac to someone with a poorly functioning gallbladder . She 20 minutes in comes down hunched over, eyes shimmering with the begining of tears and declares stomach pain.
Not buying it. I'm on to you . All of you.
Unless it involves the stupid trampoline. Then I'm probably carrying you on my back like a little hobbit backpack for three days.
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