Monday, June 7, 2010

LIfe's slide show

I was just scanning through my blog trying to see what changes I want to make while I sit up waiting for Tony to get home from work. I haven't technically "blogged" in quite some time, its mainly been my project life pictures and those were sporadically posted at best. I've just been thrown for a loop with this pregnancy and the way it has affected my body that blogging is last on my to do list.

The backup of picture postings with none of my rambling between posts gave me a nice snapshot of the last several months of my life. As I looked at the pictures I've deemed important for each day of our lives this year and some of my favorite songs began to play -an impromptu slide show of our lives - I couldn't help but reflect on how blessed we are.

I can't help but tear up a bit looking the beautiful faces of my 2 little (quickly growing) girls and all that we've been through so far this year. I love them so much and while I feel like we've made many memorable moments this year I feel like I've missed so many more. I've had a rough pregnancy and sat on the sidelines but its still good to see that even so I haven't completely failed them the past few months. Life still went on, their faces still smiled each week.

I look back on these happy moments captured in snapshot and can't help to think about the not so good ones. I think Laci has taken the brunt of the negative impact of this pregnancy as Ella refuses to not give up the high level of attention she has become accustomed to. This has left Laci to have to not only forgo some time and attention she would normally get at a time where I've relied on her a bit to help pick up where I'm lacking.

Laci has had to entertain herself, be a jr. mommy and deal with my less than patient mood over the past few months. I feel like our relationship has certainly been strained at times and seeing the pictures of her smiling face hurts knowing that there were many more times when she should have been smiling and hasn't.

I look forward to a care free summer having her home at my best times of day- when Ella isn't cranky and I'm not exhausted- instead of them being spent with her at school only to come home to find a sleepy mommy and a sister who will not relinquish prime real estate on mommy's lap.

I look forward to many more shots of Laci in my project life posts and of all the changes that will take place over the next few months- finishing the house, moving, birthdays and a new birth.
I'm always amazed at what can be captured in the shutter of a camera and look forward to what develops over the next half of the year.
Just our life- our beautiful, wonderful life.

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