Saturday, June 12, 2010
I need to be in bed now but wanted to capture a moment.
Life is so hectic sometimes that the most important moments slip right through the fingers on our busy hands. Maybe its the pregnancy but the last several days I've become very reflective on how quickly my girls are growing and how much I might be missing of them while distracted with meaningless tasks or diversions.
Tonight was one of those times where if we were in a movie the director would use the effect where the subjects were in focus and nearly still in slow motion and the rest of the scene would whirl in a blur about them.
All it took was for my little baby to come toddling in fresh from my mother in laws toting her much beloved "Melmo" blanket and paci. Before I could see her I could hear her "I want to 'nuggle Mommy" she came over bewildered that I was sitting in the lounger (pregnancy induced sciatica giving me fits after trying to have a productive Friday afternoon and evening) and asked if I'd "sit ova' dere" pointing to the couch where she likes to cozy up and doze off. I told her no that she could squeeze in here and slightly reluctant she hoisted herself and all her sleep gear in between me and the arm of the chair into a space just perfectly sized for her compact sweet body.
She rested her head in the crook of my arm and uncharacteristically closed her eyes immediately and drifter off to sleep. That alone would catch my attention but there was something sweet about the moment, or maybe it was the soothing tones of David Crowder's "All I Can Say" (available on itunes ;D ) playing at the perfect time but all I could do was look down and stare endlessly at her sweet face.
The long dark lashes that rest delicately on her cheek.
The tiniest little nose that has amazed me since I first laid eyes on her by being the smallest and cutest I've ever seen.
The way her hair curls frame her cheeks like a vintage photograph and the new tiny baby curls that have just begun to sprout and encircle her brow in a golden cascade of beauty.
I just wanted to freeze that moment- and for short time it felt like all time had stopped as I stared in awe of this beautiful little baby girl who so often I dread putting to sleep because I see it as a chore that ends with a fight. Tonight she reminded me how blessed I am that I have her to put to sleep-be it with a fight to the end or a sweet snuggle into dreamland.
I looked down at her and saw how long her arms are getting and how strong her legs look. The tiny feet that carry her to one adventure and mess to another now aren't as tiny and soft. I remembered that she's growing far too quickly and even in days like I've had in the past few weeks with newfound tantrum tactics and challenges I can't forget what a blessing she is and that she won't be tiny for long. That the things I sometimes look at now as burdensome, I'll one day soon think back on with a tear in my eye and wonder why I didn't take more time to just pause life and drink it in. To savor the sweetness of each sloppy baby kiss and cry for mommy in the night.
But for now, I look back to her little perfect lips still holding in a paci and her plump precious hand clutching her blankie and realize I still have some time. Some precious time.