Today Ella saw Tony picking up a couple pieces of trash because he didn't put the bag in the container and the barn cats tore the bag. Amongst the yuck was a bright pink piece of plastic- Ella's paci. I was in the kitchen when I heard a wail and a scream of " MY PACI MY PACI NOOO!"
She had found out the awful fate of her missing pacifiers. Now she hadn't been using them for quite some time, nor had she asked for one. If she happened to find one that hadn't been scooped up and hidden on a counter out of her sight I would turn a blind eye and let her have it for the night. However she had grown out of her need for them and as long as she didn't see them she didn't ask.
Sadly she saw this one. Apparently Tony decided to throw them away, unbeknownst to us all. The mournful wails coming out of my little girl were heart breaking. Tony deemed her ridiculous and went upstairs. How be could ignore this crumpled heap of Sadness in the hallway is beyond me.
I picked up the shattered sobbing paci-less Ella and held her close. Through heaved breaths she said "sucky I miss you. I miss you sucky".
Up until now I didn't realize she had named any of her pacis. Poor thing really did lose something important today. I tried to console her and find a nighttime comfort replacement and introduced her to the satin side of baby blankets. This is an acceptable yet lacking substitute for sucky in her eyes but it sufficed.
She cried for the better part of two hours off and on as thought shed get lost in the day and suddenly remember her loss much like real grief. It was intense. At one point she even went over to the window facing the porch where she saw the unthinkable put a hand to the window and sobbed " I love you sucky i miss you i miss you sucky. I love you . Good bye"
So sad :( it was sad for me too because it was another part of her babyhood being taken away.
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