Looking Back and Moving Ahead

Another year passed- in lightning speed.

As I look back, as is obligatory for this year, we had a pretty even. Nothing exceptional - good or bad, just a nice even stream of contentment producing circumstances. To me, that is an excellent year.

Individually , it was a year of growth for all the kids.

Laci is doing much better focusing on school and math is coming much easier for her. She's still enjoying clogging and this year the foot work looks like complicated clogging not just tap. She's been a great help with the baby and a loving big sister and best friend to Ella. The thing I love about homeschooling is the strong family bonds it fosters.
She learned a lot about life through her beloved Cat Deely running away. She lived in our barn, not sure where she went. Also one of her kittens died. She's still sad about both. She started seeing things through eyes of reality and not so much through child like faith- zippers on Disney characters, tags on our elves... Of course all that makes me terribly sad as my blog shows, but her desire to still believe in all these things gives me hope for another year of magic with her.

Ella, being in her third year has transformed from baby to little girl. I always hate that. Her face last year was still round, she had just been forced to stop using pacifiers and diapers and slept on a toddler bed in our room.

Now she has a best friend, loves to get manicures and rooms in with her sissy most nights and sometimes in her own room alone. She loves her baby sister but they fight over mommy time. Despite all her big changes, she's still little and still needs snuggles. I love those moments.

She's learning phonics and letter recognition, but spends most of her days playing Barbies. She lives for it.

Layla being a 2010 September baby experienced all her firsts this year. I kept thinking through the Christmas season that last year she was just a tiny little newborn only a couple months olds. Since then she's grown considerably, walks, talks and does some sign language. She plays like the big girls with dolls and barbies and when she's not having a bout of separation anxiety will spend a good portion of her day with her sisters. She loves to make messes and do everything she's not supposed to and will do anything for attention. She keeps us all on our toes and rolling in laughter.

Tony finally has some seniority and can hold decent jobs within CSX. This has allowed him to work a local job and stay home with a real schedule rather than being on a train and staying in hotels at the beck and command of the railroad. This has made us all happy! He also became a Master Retarder - I'm not being mean that's his real title- which allows him to hold a job not many Are qualified for- always a plus in the railroad.

I adjusted to the demands of a toddler and managed to learn to sew within the few free moments she gives me. I found I love zumba and plan on getting back to it , even if it's just in my living room most times- this week now that the busy fall-Christmas period is through.

Probably our favorite point this year was our Disney trip ( I'm finally making headway on my trip account of that and will post soon, in segments) . There is no better vacation than taking our three princesses to the most magical place on earth. I count time in terms of disney trips and Tony has taken to helping me get over the post Christmas excitement let down phase with the mantra of "one day closer to Disney".

We are so thankful for all our blessings and just the everyday beautiful moments as experience. I can look back on this year as one of comfort and happiness and couldn't hope for anything more in the coming year.


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Silent Night

Silent night
Holy night
All is calm
All is bright

I've always loved Silent Night. Even as a child it felt special when we sang it in church. Somehow the words of that song captured the essence of that night.

Of course we have no idea what Jesus' birth was like . From the accounts given in the gospels it would seem we have idealized and romanticized the event. Without a place to stay, birthing among braying livestock does not evoke calm in my mind.

Still the song brings with it a sense of reverence and awe that is palpable and penetrates the heart if you truly reflect on it's meaning as you sing.

Christmas eve candlelight service has always been my favorite part of Christmas. As a child (and now) of course I loved the presents and Santa but Christmas eve service holds its own magic.

All the holiday frenzy ceases and we reflect on that silent night. There is such a beauty and a peace that surrounds as people gather together, faces lit by the soft glow of candles and sing. True magic.



Tonight, whether in a church or at home with your family take time to appreciate the beauty of the Silent Night.

Merry Christmas.

8And there were shepherds
living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.




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Insta Friday- the week before Christmas

Scouty practicing for Christmas eve!







Layla had the honors of breaking the 20th Christmas ball of the season. I believe her count alone was 15.




They decorated the barbie house and then passed out .





She likes to throw out her toys now and make room for herself.





Then she lays down.





My beautiful Christmas angel. She left the manger scene came running to me and then hid under the pastors desk with his daughter for the remainder of the play.




Look behind Ella at Joseph pinning down an angel.



Dance Christmas party. Neither of my girls would sit on santas lap or even go see him. They said they already text him and video chatted so they were good.
Darn Santa apps







Helping me wrap and making crazy faces. She smooshed herself behind this box. She loves small spaces.

Son of a nutcracker

I spent the last two days wrapping an obscene amount of presents. I finished and breathed a sigh of relief . A huge Checkmark added to my mounting pre Christmas to do list. This one also meant no 4 Am Christmas eve bedtime. I could hop in bed before Santa was rounding Denmark this year.

We hurriedly hid all the presents and carefully picked up scrap wrapping paper- Santa has Santa paper, can't let the kids see it! We rushes because we were heading out to meet Ellas bestie to ride a Christmas carriage that looks like Cinderella's coach all lit up.

It was a nice 58 degree December evening (what is with this crappy non Christmas weather?!) and the girls had a blast.

We returned and were watching Elf for the tenth time today when laci says "hmm santa uses Santa paper" and dangles large scrap of her paper in my face saying " none of our presents better say 'merry and bright' on them"

Son of a nutcracker!

Not only did she find Santa paper but her own, which was the cutest and will now just be unused but she made note of the words written on it ensuring there will be no " laci no it's not the same the art just looks similar" to convince her it's different. No I have to unwrap and rewrap all of her gifts and of course she had
More Santa gifts than parent gifts. 20 presents to rewrap plus I have to rewrap the joint gifts for all three girls because they had a little bit of everyones paper on them.

I'm convinced that people who don't do Santa deny his existence for not high and lofty ideals of morality and truth. Not because he steals baby Jesus limelight for the day or To fight commercialism and materialism.

No they just don't have the energy to keep this Ruse up. It's constant work, this Santa gig.

Off to wrap presents again, sneak elves into my crazily parked car Because I had to come up with some ploy outside of the house since I only just moments ago retrieved them from yesterday's spot and have to create elf hijinks with awake, not sleeping children about, and clean and press Tonys Santa suit.

Why am I blogging today? I have a magical childhood to create...

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Life, video games and bandaged devils

I'm never sure what to expect when Laci starts a story . They are always very detailed and I am pretty sure half the tome she is improvising along the way gauging my reaction and adjusting as needed.

Last night we were making snowflake ornaments and she started with:

"sometimes when I wake up I feel like my life isn't real"

"what do you mean?"

" like it's a dream ... Or a video game.... And Jesus is playing the video game against the devil.....and with every act of kindness we help Jesus win."
(ellipses denote her slight pauses in which I think she's determining which way to go with this)

Me: " thats pretty deep Laci"

Ella: ( loudly because it's her default volume) " but the devil is dead right?"

Me: " no "

Ella (slightly concerned): " oh I thought he was dead"

Me: " no. But .. Uh.. Jesus always wins against the devil"

Ella: (quietly in a tiny voice and looking out the corner of her eye quizzically)
" is he injured?"

Again Ella causes us all to snort with laughter with her unique view on all things in all situations


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Ramblings of a 3 year old mind

I don't get much time with Ella let alone one on one time. I'm acutely aware of how grown up she's getting even already and I so often feel that in chaos of meeting the needs of a very demanding baby I am missing out so much on the preciousness that is little Ella.

This past week layla and I dealt with a virus again and it left her pretty much passed out for the day. Capitalizing on the lack of baby hanging off me I tried to clean.

Ella came downstairs and seeing mommy unencumbered by a clingy, possessive baby decided to hang around and help me clean. What followed was wonderfully silly conversation that I treasure because it speaks to the essence of Ella.

I asked her what she wanted for Christmas. She repeated the usual mantra of barbie camper, American girl doll and added - new singing rapunzel.

Gah. I didn't buy one. They're 30-40 and last years ended up leg less.... Scary things happen to our barbies.

"mommy cant get one now and it's too late for santa to add on his list. The elves are already packaging things. "

Fallen baby face of sadness

"how about for your birthday next month. I'll start looking for one"

"you'll check amazon right mom?"

- obviously I have an online shopping problem. But ah prime shipping...

I asked her what else she wanted.

" A turkey "

"a turkey? To eat?"

"yes and one to play with . I decided to call him Hammy"

"a turkey named Hammy"

"yes. Hammy needs to be here for Christmas"

- I ordered a turkey that night... On amazon.



She spotted a marshmallow circus peanut- Those orange disgusting ancient candies.

"people can peanuts right mom...."
"mmhmm"

"..... Not just elephants "
"No not just elephants"
" I thought so"

"is Leigh anne your sister?"
"yes"
"how is Leigh anne your sister? You don't live in her house."
" we have the same mom and lived in the same house when I was younger then I married your daddy"

"oh well I want to live with you forever "
<3

"well one day you will meet someone nice you will want to marry"

"ok. Will I know how to buckle myself in then?"



This is her random thought patten. I love it. The conversation may be mundane to some but just the fact I got to have the conversation with so many thoughts coming from her crazy mind without a baby screaming or an older sister butting in was priceless to me. I love that crazy little thing.

*Edited to add - I broke down and got the singing Rapunzel too. Darn you Disney and your daily emails to me.
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Grinches who steal Christmas don't get presents!

A few nights ago we were watching The Elf On The Shelf special. Santa dispatches elves and one elf goes to a home with pre schoolers and a cynical pre teen who finds the elf dumb. 

While we were watching I made a comment about Laci being like the boy and I wonder if their elf would leave too.  She answered with " so and so doesn't believe in Santa." she was referring to a teen aged family member.

"how do you know " I inquired.
"she told me he's not real and she doesn't believe in him"

Of course I go into immediate damage control mode

"well her mom just never gave Santa credit for the presents he brings. Like Papa elf told Buddy on Elf, some parents say they got all the presents and so some kids don't believe in Santa" 

Meanwhile I'm seething. Here we have had this whole scouty mcwinkerbean fiasco and me crying that I thought we had one more Christmas with her buying into it all. Wondering if it was just the seriously creepy and obviously plush elf that she didn't  believe in or Santa too. Had she figured it all out or was she questioning but wanting to hold on to it yet. 

It didn't matter her belief status  because someone filled in the blanks for her. It made sense now. The  Elf crisishappened a day or two after she had been with this Santa denier.

I shot off a few irritated emails. I asked Laci for the full story.

"well she asked me what I wanted for christmas and I said you were getting me American girl stuff and I asked Santa for a plush snake and a fijit. Then she says 'hmmmph I don't believe in Santa because hes not real' "

I was livid. So there was no asking on lacis part of Santa's existence, no catching  one off guard . No reason to mention his reality or not it was superfluous to the conversation. Just thrown in there  dismissively.

Had it been a child her age I could get it. They tell each other these things and look down on peers who still believe. They whisper theories back and forth trying to figure out how it works or find proof that their hunches are correct. 

But this was no 8 year old. This family member is going to be 14 in a couple weeks. I can't figure out just why a 14 year old say that to her in a condescending tone no less. How a 14 year old couldn't know to play along. That wasn't even necessary considering the validity of a real santa claus wasn't even the discussion , it was a simple listing of presents. No need to throw in he's not real.

That's the part that makes me mad. What right does this person have to take a little girls belief away before she's ready. Fellow 8 year olds don't know better 14 year olds do. It made me sad because despite her elf issues she still does try to believe in Santa. 

After watching the rest of the elf movie , during which Ella screamed "don't touch the elf he will lose his magic!!" and jumped into my lap (a welcome wave of belief in a sad moment) Laci showed me a letter she had written her new elf. I think she wanted to show me she believes.

It made me cry. 

Not because I was so happy she believed but because I know she is trying to believe.

Trying- no matter what the grinches tell her. 







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A few nights ago we were watching The Elf On The Shelf special. Santa dispatches elves and one elf goes to a home with pre schoolers and a cynical pre teen who finds the elf dumb.

While we were watching I made a comment about Laci being like the boy and I wonder if their elf would leave to. She answered that " so and so doesn't believe in Santa." she was referring to a teen aged family member.

"how do you know " I inquired.
"she told me he's not real and she doesn't believe in him"

Of course I go into immediate damage control mode

"well her mom just never gave Santa credit for the presents he brings. Like Papa elf told Buddy on Elf, some parents say they got all the presents and so some kids don't believe in Santa"

Meanwhile I'm seething. Here we have had this whole scouty mcwinkerbean fiasco and me crying that I thought we had one more Christmas with her buying into it all. Wondering if it was just the seriously creepy and obviously plush elf that she didn't believe in or Santa too. Had she figured it all out or was she questioning but wanting to hold on to it yet.

It didn't matter her belief status because someone filled in the blanks for her. It made sense now. The elf scenario happened a day or two after she had been with this Santa denier.

I shot off a few irritated emails. I asked Laci for the full story.

"well she asked me what I wanted for christmas and I said you were getting me American girl stuff and I asked Santa for a plush snake and a fijit. Then she says 'hmmmph I don't believe in Santa because hes not real' "

I was livid. So there was no asking on lacis part of Santa's existence, no catching one off guard . No reason to mention his reality or not it was superfluous to the conversation. Just thrown in there dismissively.

Had it been a child her age I could get it. They tell each other these things and look down on peers who still believe. They whisper theories back and forth trying to figure out how it works or find proof that their hunches are correct.

But this was no 8 year old. This family member is going to be 14 in a couple weeks. I can't figure out just why a 14 year old say that to her in a condescending tone no less. How a 14 year old couldn't know to play along. That wasn't even necessary considering the validity of a real santa claus wasn't even the discussion , it was a simple listing of presents. No need to throw in he's not real.

That's the part that makes me mad. What right does this person have to take a little girls belief away before she's ready. Fellow 8 year olds don't know better 14 year olds do. It made me sad because despite her elf issues she still does try to believe in Santa.

After watching the rest of the elf movie , during which Ella screamed "don't touch the elf he will lose his magic!!" and jumped into my lap (a welcome wave of belief in a sad moment) laci showed me a letter she had written her new elf. I think she wanted to show me she believes.

It made me cry.

Not because I was so happy she believed but because I know she is trying to believe.

Trying- no matter what the grinches tell her.

Insta-Friday dec 9-15

Last weekend we headed to Hershey to visit my cousin. The girls woke to an early Christmas!



Then we headed to Hershey park for Candy Lane. This is a giant gingerbread house made entirely from Hershey products.



This is one of the two rides they rode... Not worth the ticket cost...


Stopped at the Disney outlet and this is what Laci had to have- Jack Skellington. She kept scaring kids just by walking by. One little girl kept screaming " no no no". I had to buy Sally for Christmas too. So creepy.







They had these cool globe lights in the trees. Walking underneath, it looked like the burning lanterns from rapunzel.





The advent calendar surprise for the day was a new ornament for their trees. Laci got a sock monkey and Ella some weird flamingo. She loves flamingos.








My sister came up on Monday to help me make hand print trees with the girls. It was messy. Layla decided to paint with her feet.


The elves tp'ed the play room.





She has candy in her hand but is choosing to eat broccoli !




A letter to the elves.




A traditional elf breakfast - spaghetti with syrup with a little candy sprinkled in for good measure. Scouty came over for breakfast. The girls were happy to see him.




Layla trying a traditional elf breakfast.


She shopped at target like this!



Laci moving Scouty from the table so they don't accidentally touch him and cause a loss of magical elf power.



Daily amazon delivery.
Today Ella was telling me again how she wants a new singing rapunzel. She had one from last Christmas but that one tragically lost her legs (the tenth tragic barbie fatality this year including 5 decapitations....) I told her I can't get one and it's too late for Santa to make her one probably. ($40 for a barbie right now... No. She's already blown past her limit!) I said maybe for your birthday (January) I'll look for one.

" you'll look on amazon right mom?" yes amazon lol.




Decorating our gingerbread house!
Preceded by dancing to the Michael Buble Christmas special. :)









Pinecone reindeer. Laci insisted hers was a girl so no antlers. Unfortunately antlers are the only thing making these pinecones vaguely resemble reindeer...

Make Something Monday-Dec 12

I finally got back around to Make Something Monday. Things have not been going my way at all lately!

Tonight we managed to make handprint Christmas trees.



I saw them several years ago at my best friends house, her son had made one at school. She Hangs it up every hear and of all her beautiful christmas decorations- its my favoriteIt's such a sweet memento of their childhood.

I have always gotten busy with other things and had failed to make them. I was determined to have them made and hanging by now but like many things of late I've had to let that notion go.

we are going to decorate them tomorrow with shiny pretty things for "ornaments".

But tonight we finished with our usual mess. Layla explored toe painting while I was telling Ella to please stop finger painting the entire drop cloth because we wouldn't be able to keep our paintings nice on it



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Insta Friday- first week of December

Beginning to look a lot like Christmas!








We Had to wear hats to decorate our tree...
















This is what happens when a three year old decorates your tree. We counted fifteen balls shoved in that one spot- most on the same limb.



December 1st! Time for the advent calendar I made with the bestie





Monkey hats :)
Waiting for the Christmas parade.










Writing her letter to Santa.









Idk if I like better in color or not





She asked for a Barbie camper and "also a Barbie" .
Crap I have to buy a barbie camper.





She asked for a Fijit and plush snake. Apparently I am not done shopping! Next year no Santa letters past august! I hate late additions. Santa has a deadline folks you can't just be adding and adding junk up until the eleventh hour! The elves are unionized!






Mailing her letter





I wonder if this is the last letter she will mail to Santa ... :(







Voting for her favorite elf "glisten"




She and Bitty Baby dressed to match to go to Penn Alps artisan village Christmas.









Listening to Miss Teen Historic Md read a Christmas story in a one room school house.




Spinning wheel in historic yoder house.





The elf and reindeer made snow angels in confectioners sugar...




She insisted on mascara


And then lip gloss




Toddlers and tiaras?...





Look at those lashes!

She then went and got a hair brush and hair spray and nail polish. I'm not kidding




Mickey confetti from Disney world. I love that I find this little bit of magic from Time to time. Makes me smile.






The elf decorated the play room tree- with the girls undies!




Finally some snow! She screamed when laci opened the door to let the dog out and saw it . She kept yelling "oh oh" and ran out in her diaper. We had to get boots on and go out! She loves it!








Christmas <3

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