Friday, December 2, 2011

Is that a tag on your butt or is that a north pole GPS

I had a minor crisis Thanksgiving week when I got out Christmas decorations and realized Buddy McWinkerbean - our Elf on the Shelf- was missing; nowhere to be found.

Crisis was soon averted when a few days later my husband thought maybe we shoved him in with the Santa suit. Yes, Virginia, we have a Santa suit- Tony dresses up as st nick every Christmas eve and rings sleigh bells. I wake the girls to creep down and spy on Santa as he puts out our gifts.

So I grab Scouty with plans to finally get him out - three days late. We had already planned to go for a walk with the puppy and I thought putting him on the porch somewhere would make it seem less likely that I in fact was placing him in our house instead of Christmas magic.

So I did what any self respecting mom would do- I shoved him in my bra to whip out when kids weren't looking.

While they were busy with the dog I wedged him high on the porch on an old horse shoe that was in the house before we renovated it that the contractor affixed to the side of a porch column.

I was so excited for us to go back in and for Scouty to be found. Laci walked by him but Ella spied him saying "there's something up there!"

My excitement wore off a few minutes later when Ella asked Laci "why is he up so high" and Laci responded "because he feels like a toy and mom doesn't want us to know that"

Heart sink :(

I enjoy doing silly little magical things for my kids and the dumb elf was one of those. Not only is Laci expressing the cynical disbelief of a teen but she's ruining it for her little sister. Ella, is in her own world and left to her own devices will probably believe in the elf until she gets married and asks her husband on their first Christmas why Scouty McWinkerbean never showed up. Shes just.... Unique.

I was sad and angry and way bummed out. So I snapped a Laci that if she doesn't want to believe in Christmas magic then she needs to keep it to herself because if she convinces Ella he's not real he's going to leave for the North Pole and then who is going to make sure they are on the nice list.
Well she's says some snotty Laci-isms and Soon Ella is repeating that it feels like a toy.
"hey mom look where Laci said he has a tag"
"it's not a tag don't listen to Laci.... It's a gps type of thing that allows Santa to track the elves in case of emergency and helps him find his way to the north pole every night"
"but it looks like a tag"
... Why didn't I cut the tag off his felt butt last year!?

I sent everyone inside because I was going to put decorations on the porch and really just wanted them away from the elf... And me.

I cried . I can't bear the thought of Laci not believing in things like Santa and that Mickey mouse is a real giant mouse who invites us to Halloween parties and that Cinderella really does live in that forced perspective castle...

Those beliefs are what make her still little.

My little girl...

She's always been precocious and seemed older than she was. Much older.

Often times, we expected more out of her- forgetting she was only five not ten like she acted. She grew up too fast and we helped push her there.

I'd give anything for those times back.

So I cried and got no lights up. I didn't even feel like it at that point. I didn't even care about Christmas.

Once I pulled myself together I went into damage control mode. I pleaded for them to believe so the elf wouldnt leave. As Ella repeated Lacis lies that Scouty McWinkerbean was a toy, I texted Tony to get rid of the elf.

Later I had them discover he was gone. Laci doesnt always show what she's thinking especially when she thinks I'm going go be upset, so when she looked out the blinds and then out the door and saw there was no elf I could not read her. I don't know if she cared, if she thought he flew back to the north pole or to another family with belief like I said. I don't know. Ella was a lite bewildered but not upset.

Desperate to make all these Christmas creations real I turned to a trusted friend- my iPhone. I down loaded a Santa magic phone app. Santa will call your kid or text message them a personalized message. An elf named Milo fills him in on your kids name (your voice at an alvin chipmunk speed/pitch) and any other custom details.

Soon Ella had a ca from Santa. She screamed and scrambled behind me. Especially when Santa had heard she was saying unkind words to scouty (you have a limited selection of naughty deeds to choose from ) . She cried and sobbed and totally freaked to the point everytime my phone had a call or text she would go in panic mode. It was traumatizing for her - a tad funny/ stress reliever for me.

Laci got a text message soon after (again sending ella in a tail spin) her text basically said the same as santas call to Ella , I just wasn't sure she would buy the phone call and couldn't risk derailing the Christmas belief train anymore that night.

So now I'm stuck with a $30 elf that looks like a creeper and I can't even use it. I have a girl elf from amazon (much cuter plush) on her way from the amazon warehouse North Pole.

Sad :(

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

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