Where are you Christmas?

A few days after the Scouty McWinkerbean fiasco (if you don't know what I'm referencing read the previous post)

the girls had sleep overs. Apparently Laci watched the Jim Carrey version of The Grinch while away.

I was standing in the kitchen and heard her singing softly in the next room:

"Where are you Christmas

Why can't I find you

Why have you gone away

Where is the laughter

You used to bring me

Why can't I hear music play

My world is changing

I'm rearranging

Does that mean Christmas changes too"

Sobbing. I was, that is.

That song has always Made me tear up but it was exactly how I was feeling about her after the whole elf disbelief. I've dreaded this moment since she was a baby ( I have) and here it was and she was providing the soundtrack.

I'm fairly certain she was just singing a song she liked from a movie and not having the profound moment I was having but it just seemed to be final song for this chapter of her childhood. Too much to bear, too soon.

I think she still believes in Santa. She's playing along at least , hedging her bets so that in the event she's wrong and he is real- she doesn't lose out on any presents. But it's coming soon... It may very well be her last magical Christmas.

"Where are you Christmas

Do you remember

The one you used to know

I'm not the same one

See what the time's done

Is that why you have let me go"

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